Hello, and welcome back to a brand new edition of: "Is this wedding behavior perfectly acceptable, or not cool at all?" As always, we'll be looking at a juicy and viral thread from Reddit's Am I the Asshole, and things might get a little messy.
Last time, we discussed the validity of saying no to being a bridesmaid. This time, we're looking into the age-old taboo of wearing white to a wedding (if you aren't the bride).
In case you didn't know, it's generally an unspoken rule that you shouldn't wear white to a wedding, because that's usually the color of the bride's wedding dress. The idea is that you don't want to upstage the bride on their big day. However, there's been some debate about when it is appropriate to do so, and whether the whole rule is simply antiquated.
Here's the full story, according to Reddit user u/Low-Abbreviations352 (or OP; for Original Poster):
"I got married back in June, and at my wedding, my now sister-in-law was wearing an outfit with a white top and a black bottom part. I didn't say anything to her at the wedding, but going through my photos with the photographer, I felt like they were a bit silly since the top part of her outfit was literally the same color as my wedding dress, and in certain photos, it really made her pop out."
Note: In an update on the thread, OP clarified that the outfit in question was a formal jumpsuit, similar to something like this.
"Since they are my wedding photos, I requested the photographer to make my SIL's top to be gray-ish instead, if possible. We only edited the ones where she was standing next to/near me, by the way."
Once OP got the final versions of the photos from the photographer and showed them to everyone, their sister-in-law wasn't too pleased. "[She] got upset and asked why I edited her white top. I said it was because she stood out too much. [She] requested the original photos with her white top be sent."
"I contacted my photographer. She said she could send them, but at a cost since they were additional photos. I asked if she could just send the raw versions over, no processing, etc., but it was still extra. So I told my SIL that if she wanted the original photos, she could give me the extra money, and I'll get them for her."
"This made her upset even more, but I thought she dropped the issue. Fast-forward some days, and I find out she's talking sh*t about me behind my back. I went ahead and texted her, [asking] why the hell she cares about the white top so much, and she said she looks really good in white, and bought that outfit specifically since she wanted good photos."
"I was dumbfounded by that comment, so I just didn't reply to her text messages. Then, my husband told me the next night that my SIL is really upset with me, and wants me to respond. She apparently believes I am insecure for editing the photos."
There's certainly a lot to unpack here, and that's exactly what people did in the comments on the thread. Many thought that the sister-in-law was in the wrong, and commended OP on how they handled the situation.
"She wore white to a wedding. She’s lucky you were nice about it and just grayed where she’s standing next to you. And, you were nice enough to let her have the unedited photos if she paid the photographer."
"I'm petty. Her shirt would've been Barney purple or Pepto pink in the edited photos. Who wears white to a wedding?"
Some pointed out that the sister-in-law bought the outfit specifically for the wedding, making it feel even shadier.
"Your SIL should've known better than to wear white to a wedding. But then again, she actually BOUGHT the white top to wear on this occasion. So she's actually the [asshole] for knowingly trying to stand out on someone else's special day."
"The fact that SIL said, 'I look good in white' and bought it especially because of that, meant she knew she probably shouldn't wear white, but she wanted to, so she found a way to try and bend the rules."
However, others felt that the bride was in the wrong, and commented on the fact that the sister-in-law's outfit probably wasn't all that different from other attendees — specifically, men's formal wear.
"She wore an outfit where just the top half was white to a wedding; it's not like she showed up in a white lacy ball gown. Did OP also edit out every man who was wearing a white dress shirt?"
"It wasn't a white dress, though. How is what SIL wore any different than a guy wearing black pants and a white button down shirt?"
And finally, some thought that the sister-in-law was out of line making demands about the wedding photos in the first place.
"If she wants good portraits, she can pay for her own photographer and photo shoot, not piggyback off your wedding photos."
"The fact that she's demanding the original photos makes it obvious she purposefully wore white to look like the bride."
Where do you stand on all of this??? Should the bride's sister-in-law known better than to wear white to a wedding, even if it wasn't completely white? Or, was the bride overreacting with her decision to photoshop the photos? Let's debate in the comments!