65 Quotes From The Original "Mean Girls" Movie That Are Still So Funny

We've all seen the 2024 remake of Mean Girls by now, and while the new cast and musical theme are excellent, we're still not over the original film. Here are the funniest, most iconic quotes from the cult classic.

1."You smell like a baby prostitute." — Janis Ian

2."Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now." — Regina George

3."Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean, that's just like, the rules of feminism." — Gretchen Wieners

4."Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?" — Ms. Norbury

5."Ashton Kutcher!" — Damian

6."Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya." — Mrs. George

7."Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each other's" awesomeness?" — Janis Ian

8."Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks." — Gretchen Wieners

9."My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk." — Damian

10."I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man." — Cady Heron

11."Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers." — Coach Carr

12."She asked me how to spell orange." — Damian

13."Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!" — Gretchen Wieners

14."Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin, 'cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!" — Bethany Byrd

15."Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries." — Regina George

16."Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George." — Ms. Norbury

17."Made out with a hotdog? Oh my God, that was one time!" — Amber

18."Is butter a carb?" — Regina George

19."I hear her hair's insured for $10,000." — Tim Pak

20."In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up and beg for candy. But in girl world, Halloween is the one time of year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it." — Cady Heron

21."I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him." — Regina George

22."Boo, you whore!" — Regina George

23."That is so fetch!" — Gretchen Wieners

24."Damn. I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang." — Kevin G.

25."Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." — Student

26."You can't join Mathletes, it's social suicide!" — Damian

27."At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you *will* get chlamydia... and die." — Coach Carr

28."If only you knew how mean she really is. You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoop earrings were her thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah, my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn't even like them, and... it was so sad." — Gretchen Wieners

29."Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!" — Damian

30."I'm a MOUSE. DUH." — Karen Smith

31."Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?" — Student

32."It's not my fault you're, like, in love with me or something!" — Cady Heron

33."Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!" — Damian

34."Get in, loser. We're going shopping." — Regina George

35."Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs." — Janis Ian

36."You wanna do something fun? You wanna go to Taco Bell?" — Karen Smith

37."I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet! God, Karen, you are so stupid!" — Regina George

38."She's fabulous, but she's evil." — Damian

39."Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?" — Mr. Duvall

40."I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!" — Mrs. George

41."I want my pink shirt back!" — Damian

42."It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well, they can tell when it’s raining." — Karen Smith

43."I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?" — Karen Smith

44.“I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this." — Gretchen Wieners

45."On Wednesdays we wear pink!" — Karen Smith

46."I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy." — Student

47."She doesn't even go here!" — Damian

48."I know I may seem like I was being a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch." — Cady Heron

49.[Who are the plastics?] "They're teen royalty. If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover." — Damian

50."Grool... I meant to say cool, and then I started to say great." — Cady Heron

51."Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color." — Kevin G.

52."Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn't hear that." — Gretchen Wieners

53."My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee." — Mr. Duvall

54."The limit does not exist!" — Cady Heron

55."So you agree? You think you're really pretty." — Regina George

56."This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk. You can ask one of the big kids where to do that." — Cady's dad

57."Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!" — Mr. Duvall

58."There are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil stuff and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it." — Janis Ian

59.[Um, is there alcohol in this] "Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house." — Mrs. George

60."Beware of The Plastics." — Janis Ian

61."I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you." — Ms. Norbury

62."It was because that vest was disgusting!" — Regina George

63."I'm kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense." — Karen Smith

64."Gretchen, stop trying to make 'fetch' happen. It's not going to happen!" — Regina George

65.And finally, "That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen." — Regina George