Spencer Pratt Recaps "Siesta Key" With LC in Mind
This week on Siesta Key: Kelsey tried (and failed) to break up with Garrett, Madisson went to a job interview (very bad), and Chloe met up with Amanda to apologize for having her nose broken (you didn’t read that wrong). Also: Alex didn’t get into law school - insert shocked face here - and Chloe’s mom, seeing no other recourse, confronted Chloe on camera about her anger issues and whether they stem from her not having a father. Oh, and Alex and Amanda had sex even though Amanda told Chloe she wouldn’t. Juliette was there too, I think. I don’t know.
As always, Cosmopolitan.com caught up with Spencer Pratt to get his take on the show, the characters, and who exactly Chloe might punch out next. It was Spencer's birthday and he’d just gotten out of an ice bath, but he was still more than willing to dish on what went down. And LC. Let’s talk about LC.
On Spencer's renewed love for Chloe after her dinner with her mom
"I never thought I would say this, but now I want a Chloe spin-off with her and her mom. That dinner was the most relatable, unbelievable scene that I've watched in reality TV in a long time. Where the mom is just throwing her daughter under the bus, in front of a TV camera and Chloe was trying so hard to psychically be like, 'Mom, stop. I'm on a TV show. Stop, Mom.' Oh my gosh. It was brilliant. And the mom was just like, 'You have real anger problems.'"
"Once she went to Chloe not having a dad, I was like, 'Oh, this show just turned into Jerry Springer, Maury or some shit.' All I know is that that mom is gangster, and she didn't care, and I definitely like Chloe now. I feel like Chloe, legit, has real problems."
"That mom - that was straight from the heart. 'Homegirl, you just broke your friend's nose. You have real problems. Nobody wants to hang out with you.'"
On why no one is on Chloe’s side - including her mom
"Here's what I figured out with that: I think what they're not saying is that Chloe’s kicking and fighting people all the time. The way she can get her nose broken and everyone is on Amanda's side, it means that Chloe is a straight-up Tasmanian Devil."
On Garrett’s prospects (and Kelsey’s tall modeling tales)
"I never thought I'd start feeling bad for Garrett, but every time I feel bad for Garrett, Heidi and I are very excited for him. He gets to have slow-motion, no-shirt commercials for Abercrombie or for protein shakes or whatever."
"He's winning at the end of the day now because he just looks so damn buff and they've got his hair flopping in slow-mo. Yeah, he needs to dump this chick. She's wack. I don't know. I decided she's a foot model or a hand model or something because she sure as hell is not getting flown around the country. You're going to shade everyone that hasn't been out of the country like they're not mature. Girl, you don't need to go to another country to have a brain."
"I've never seen this Kelsey’s face in a campaign, so she should just say, 'When I do catalogs for a digital retailer.' I don't know. I'm just saying she's pumping herself a little too high with this traveling around the world."
"Garrett needs to break up with Kelsey fast. If I had his number before this aired, I would be like, 'Dump her right on her face. Go bang out Amanda because that won't be too difficult and it would just make great content.'"
On Kelsey’s irrational picnic hate
"I was still creeped out by the 365-day note thing. Chloe and Heidi brought it up at the same time, 'Wow that's presumptuous. We're gonna be together for at least one more year. Why don't we take it week by week here, pal?'"
"She’s hating on the picnic like, 'He brought, like, pepperoni.' Like, girl, shut up. Since when is hating on a picnic ... is that what modern young adults are like now? Where a picnic has no value in society? Because I feel like pepperoni, salami, cheese, and crackers is a freaking lit-ass party."
On Garrett’s surprise that Kelsey would ask Alex to teach her how to boat when Garrett has a boating license
"Right after he said, that Heidi goes, 'But yeah, but did you have a boat.' I was like, 'Ooh, you got him.'"
On Pauly Paul and his bombshell
"How did Pauly Paul - we’ll call him Pauly Paul because there's another Pauly in Siesta Key, I don't want to confuse them - just drop that Amanda and Alex had sex?"
"How is that not part of Chloe's narration? I think Pauly Paul just was like, 'I'm going to get a good scene,' and just drop. I bet him, Amanda, and Alex are the only ones that maybe know about that, and that was just like, 'Ooh, I know how to take this scene up.'"
"I would bet you money Pauly Paul works for Alex's dad as his, like, assistant. I bet that's Alex's dad's brother's son. Pauly Paul was like, 'Uncle, we need to do the show about Alex in the boat.'"
On the Chloe/Amanda reunion
"Heidi is saying, 'How did it somehow become all Chloe's fault that she got punched in the face?'"
On why Chloe’s apologizing for having her nose broken
"If you look in Chloe's mom's eyes, we have no idea what Chloe is really capable of. I think we're missing a lot of backstory on just what level Chloe's really at, where she's like, 'I'm a psychopath, I know, it's all good, let's just keep it moving.'"
"I think Chloe got them the show when they rolled up on her at the bar. She's the real character. All these people are supporting cast to the lunatic bar chick. We don't know what's going down at the pull-up bar with Chloe off camera. I think she's a movie character."
"Amanda and Chloe are the Spring Breaker chicks. They’re like bank robbers. I could easily see those two put on Point Break presidents' masks and just rob a Sephora or something."
On Chloe’s resilience
"What’s remarkable is Chloe got her nose straight-up broken, but, like, a week later, she's down to film and make a scene. That shows you the difference between a little bitch-ass narrator, who's like, 'I don't want to film with her anymore, forgive and forget! I don't want her on my show, because I'm a little spoiled princess,' versus, like, a gangster, team player, homie, like, 'Oh, it's no big deal. You broke my nose last week let's go get a scene, girl.'"
"That made me respect her so much and just made me realize how much I really hate other types of 'talent' who will beef over an alleged rumor and never talk again and think it's the end of the world. Now this girl can get her nose straight-up broken and go peace it out."
"LC never wanted to film - keyword is 'film,' not 'be friends' - film as in stop getting a girl a paycheck and being famous. These girls get it. They’re like, 'Hey, it's for the show.' They're not thinking, 'It’s all about me.' It made me like their clique."
"It's like, 'Oh, let me just break homegirl's nose, and then we'll have a little powwow and wrap it all up, and I'll apologize to the nose-breaker for breaking my nose.' Imagine if Heidi got to break LC’s nose and then LC had to apologize to Heidi for LC getting her nose broken by Heidi."
"That's the type of friend I would want to have - where we can brawl out in the back of a car over if we're going to Chipotle or Taco Bell, and then a week later, we can knock a scene out and all take the hit and fall on the sword even if you look crazy. This is the type of friends that I respect. The kind that can brawl out and be homies later."
On psychopaths
"I think everyone on the show is a legit scary psychopath except for Madisson; I think Madisson fell into the wrong crowd. How do you have a math degree and a mechanical engineering degree, and you're sitting down, and you're talking to Alex? I'm still trying to figure out if he's reading a script and I hope he is. Because if he's reading a teleprompter then, OK, this is just magic. Because every time he talks, I think he's looking at just words being printed, and he's reading them real slow. Like, 'Oh, yeah, did you get the job? Oh, how did it go?'"
On Alex’s hotness
"The quote of the whole episode was Kelsey saying, 'He can have any girl in Florida, why would he want me?' Holy shit."
"I don't understand what's going on in the Siesta Key that a girl can say, 'Why would he want me? He could get any girl in Florida,' about Alex in front of a camera crew. I don't know how many millions of people are in Florida but I'm sure that those numbers are totally incorrect."
On Alex getting into law school
"I wanted to be like, 'Dude, I don't think you're getting into that law school with the current press you're getting on Google, pal. But, hey, maybe you could get into wildlife law protection and come from the other side. I never believed he was going. Just him in law school seems like a joke. It seems like a troll."
On Kelsey and Garrett maybe breaking up
"Kelsey should just gangster it and just break up with him. All you need to do is just bail fucking Garrett and go after Alex, and you just steal this show. The only reason you're on it is to get the most attention. Just step up. I hate when people don't just jump in the deep end. Stop playing."
"When Garrett was like, 'I could see myself being with her forever,' I wanted to be like, 'Dude, whatever steroids you're taking, they’re getting to your brain and it's not working. Because you have been with her six months, and I have seen six minutes of your relationship, and it's time for you to get back on Tinder, or whatever dating app you met her on, and do a reset.'"
On the season’s most important question
"Heidi wants to know why they're always all doing the scenes in Alex’s bed. What's the rest of his house? Why don't we see the rest of this big mansion? Is there no furniture in these other rooms? Is it just, like, a prop house? What's going on here? Where's your Yolanda fridge? Why aren't we getting a shot of Alex opening his big-ass fridge with all these bottles of Cristal, since he's a party boy. The bedroom does not look like the Prince of Malibu's bedroom. I know the difference between a prince and a pauper."
On the show’s tone
"The show got way too heavy. As amazing as that scene [with Chloe and her mom] was, I don't want that on the Siesta Key. I would much rather hear Alex's monotone voice getting ready for a party. I hate when my fun, summer show turns too heavy. Too heavy for me was even Madisson getting rejected for her job. I got emotional. I would much rather be worrying about Madisson trying to get a new boyfriend. I don't like when my party show gets all serious."
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