Woman Tackles Insecurity in Open Letter to Her 20-Something Self
Photo: Ravi Roshan
Poornima Baskar is a lot like other 23-year-olds. She has a blog, likes to take pictures, and occasionally writes down her thoughts on things. She also has a ton of insecurities. But she knows she’s not alone.
She recently wrote an open letter on her blog, Loud Thoughts Voiced Out, to the girl in her mid-20s, and the Internet exploded with all of the feels.
“You’ve spent so many years looking forward to this phase of your life. And it always looked so cool. So glamorous. So filled with love and laughter. Yet here you are. With knowledge that it’s anything but,” she writes.
She then goes on to talk about all the things other people around her are doing: getting married, moving up in their careers, falling in love, and even struggling with drug addiction.
“But not you. You’re just existing. You’re getting through every day a little better than the last. But then you have days where you can’t get up at all.”
She describes the boring Friday nights, where she’s too responsible to let go and instead find herself consumed by loneliness.
She asks, “Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Was there a reason why it was never me? Is this going to be the rest of my life? Alone? Unsuccessful? Filled with dreams that never come true?”
She then tackles the struggle of needing to feel accepted.
“And it is so strong, you forget your sanity for a few minutes of flattery. You lessen your worth for dishonest words. The hurt in your heart, camouflaged. If only for a few seconds.”
But it’s not all bad. Halfway through the letter, she takes a turn reminding this girl in her mid-20s to simply breathe.
“It’s not so bad. You think I don’t understand. But I do. Because I’m there too. I’ve made that call. I’ve texted that wrong person. I’ve woken up with regrets. I still do. I’ve felt the need to be held. I’ve felt that silent green monster towards a friend in love. Yes, we all make those mistakes. And we all think nobody else does. But they do.”
She begs this woman in her mid-20s not to hate herself, not to stop wishing and dreaming.
“You have so much left to do. You have a world filled with life waiting to happen. You have books to be read. Steps to be taken. Places to see. People to meet. You haven’t lived half your life yet. There’s so much ahead. And in 10 years, when you look back, you’ll wish you were here again.”
She stresses that it’s OK to be alone, to be selfish and allow her to let her life revolve around her and just her.
“Breathe. It’s only your mid-20s. You’re going to be all right,” she says in closing.
Not long after being posted on her blog, the letter was picked up by the Facebook group Open Letters That Matter and has been shared more than 75,000 times, with more than 10,000 comments — most thanking Baskar for speaking to their own struggles and insecurities with this age.
“This is exactly how I feel right now, this is good for us mid-20s to read this kind of article,” said one commenter, while another wrote, “cried while reading this because I feel like I’m reading my self. Cheers to us who are struggling in our mid-20s! We’ll get through this.”
Baskar tells BuzzFeed that she was motivated the write the letter after having a particularly bad week.
“I had a morning of regret. I spent too long staring at my phone, waiting for a text. I realized I had created boundaries for myself that stopped me from exploring so many places and things and that came around the same time when it hit me, I’m waiting for someone to take me there. Someone to tell me it’s OK. And I didn’t need someone. I had me,” she says.
“It was just a whole eureka moment kind of thing.”
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