Why I Chopped 12 Inches of My Hair Off (And You Should Too)
The author cut her hair to create a wig for a child with cancer. (Photo: Bryce Gruber)
Every day I wake up, have my coffee, brush my teeth, get my kids ready for their days and make all the routine motions of the average woman. On a typically rushed day it doesn’t hit me that each of these routine motions is a total gift, I mean, I wake up every day. My kids wake up every day. Unfortunately my greatest luxury (also the one most of us take for granted to a fairly extreme level), existence with my family, isn’t something we’re all quite as lucky to have. I know this because I’ve lost nine friends and family members to cancer over the past few years. Nine. I’m losing a person I love and care about more than once a year, and that’s just insanely unacceptable in all the deepest corners of my heart. There’s a powerless feeling that comes over me every single time I hear “We’re starting chemo,” or some other similar treatment. Then I watch the person I’ve cared about struggle through it, sometimes making it and sometimes not. In the case of children battling cancers, it becomes infinitely harder to watch and know about— there’s something biological in the human DNA that just can’t handle watching a child go through it.
This was the case when my cousin Robyn called me to say that her little niece, Maddie Grace, was on her 7th battle with Acute Lymphocyctic Leukemia. In the weeks that followed, we scrambled to find a solution— any solution. Maddie had been fighting this cancer demon on and off since she was three, and was getting dangerously close to the end. So we tried to team up to just to bring awareness to pediatric cancers. Adult cancers get the bulk of support and funding, and there just aren’t enough hands, helpers, and dollars to go around for pediatric cancer cases. We called our media friends, we partnered with car companies, and I even personally reached out to just about all the major shampoo companies to ask for their help in raising awareness. Some helped, others couldn’t be associated with the C word. In the middle of all this Maddie’s parents were struggling financially (it’s nearly impossible to hold down a job while your daughter is fighting for her life), and then suddenly one day in October it was all over. Maddie passed away at just 10 years old from an invasive fungal infection that entered her bloodstream, sent her body into shock, and caused heart failure.
The author cut her hair to honor her niece, Maddie. (Photo: Bryce Gruber)
Her family was devastated. They still are. The rest of us on the periphery didn’t know what to do. What now? How do make it better for them now?
We honor Maddie’s legacy of positivity and generosity because it’s the only way. She wanted to be a doctor and help other kids when she grew up, so I took her love of making things better for other people and decided that would be my mission in keeping her light alive. I alone cannot cure cancer— I’m not a scientist, researcher, or doctor. I’m also not the one who pulls the universe’s strings. My best opportunity is to make a difference by making someone else feel good about themselves and smile a little more than they otherwise would have, while encouraging others to do the same. So I donated my hair to make a wig for another little girl facing hair loss from her cancer treatments, and will do it again.
I know it seems trite when talking about life or death, but I make a good portion of the income I support my three children with, from my hair. I am primarily a beauty writer by trade and often appear in shampoo commercials and ad campaigns. Cutting off a foot of hair was a big deal. I enlisted my friend and hairstylist, Ronen Marciano, to help me with my mission to preserve as much hair as possible so that it could go directly to a wigmaker. Every centimeter counts when it comes to making a wig. He chopped, and chopped telling me “If we go really short this time, the next time you do a donation it won’t even feel short to you.” It was true, and I liked that he was already encouraging me to do it again in a year or two.
I am asking you (yes, you with the long hair!) to consider donating yours as well. Long, healthy ponytails (any color or texture) are generally accepted as long as they’re not chemically treated. There are several organizations helping to make wigs for children battling childhood illnesses— some specifically for cancer, others split between cancer and alopecia. To me, the point is about improving a child’s quality of life and happiness, so whichever direction your hair takes is ultimately a positive one (should you decide to donate yours). My personal donation went directly to a wigmaker I knew of who was already working on a piece for a young child, but in the future I will consider donating to an organization like Chai Lifeline. Or by working with one of the wigmakers listed on cancer.org.
I know not everyone will be able to donate a foot or more of their hair, but I do hope this inspires you to do something (anything!) positive for someone else today. Maddie’s life was about sharing, giving, and loving, and I hope her legacy inspires many more to share the light she had.
Related:
Why Losing My Hair Scared Me More Than Breast Cancer
This Fashion Model Battling Cancer Is A Role Model, Too
Helping Breast Cancer Patients Deal With Their Changes In Appearance
