Iskra Lawrence on Her Disordered Eating Battle
Iskra Lawrence just got real about some old demons in a new interview with SELF magazine. The model and body-positivity activist, known for not giving AF what people think about her shape, revealed that her empowered attitude hasn't always come easy, especially when she started out in the industry.
In her teens, modeling agencies told Iskra to lose weight. "I was so confused about why my body was curvy," Iskra told SELF. "That's when I became obsessed with weight. My hips were 36 1/2 inches when they were 'meant' to be 34."
Unable to slim down any further, Iskra's agency dropped her when she was 16.
Yet, even after that, to an outsider, Iskra looked confident. "But when I looked in the mirror, I hated what I saw," she said, admitting that she also dropped her after-school sport, swimming, because she "didn't want to look bulky."
At that point, she took out her frustrations with dieting. She tried Atkins and even a maple syrup diet. "[At one point] all I ate was ham for two weeks," she explained. "I lost two inches around my waist, exercising like crazy. I would fall asleep in school. I felt agitated."
When Iskra heard about plus-size modeling for the first time, she was thrilled, but, again, she was turned down by agencies - this time, for being too small. "Then it clicked: This is crazy. What if I were the only model at my size? Surely I would have a monopoly!" she said. "I was like, 'OK, I'm different, and that's what's going to make me work. I'm Iskra Lawrence. I know I'm intelligent. Let's use this.'"
She began learning about nutrition, cooking for herself at home, and investing in a personal trainer. "I never wanted to diet again," she shared.
It worked. "Once I convinced myself I could do this, I was able to convince them," she said. "I haven't wanted to change anything about my body for the last three years."
However, Iskra admits that maintaining a positive attitude isn't always easy - like when she recently found she wasn't able to fit into a store's largest size of jeans. "In that split second I returned to my 15-year-old self, like 'What's wrong with my legs - are they huge?' Then I was like, 'Whoa, wait a second: This fabric here is going to make me have an internal battle? Are you kidding me?' At some point in my life, that would have been the end of the world. But now my self-worth isn't defined by it."
At the end of the day, Iskra knows what does define her. "I'm happy with myself. I respect myself," she explained. "And I know that no man, no jeans, no scale, and no booker is in control of my future - I am."
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