How to Learn to Care for Black Hair When You’re Not Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian is a huge fan of traditionally black hairstyles and general aesthetics, and now that she has two biracial children, she’s decided to learn how to take care of the kinky or curly hair children with African descent usually have. And so, on a recent episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kim enlisted the help of celebrity hairstylist Kim Kimble to help her learn how to style her daughter’s curls, even consulting family friend Malika Haqq for help.

Kardashian’s issue is a common one that nonblack parents of black or biracial children to deal with. Fortunately, you don’t need access to a celebrity hairstylist in order to learn how to take care of textured hair.

Mariam Aryai Rivera, a teaching artist and mother of four from Washington Heights in New York, has straight hair herself that is nothing like the bundle of curls atop her two daughters’ heads. And though her kids are multiracial, when she is shopping for products, she knows that the “ethnic” hair aisle is her best bet at the drugstore or beauty supply shop. “My kids are black, Iranian, and Taino/Afro Puerto Rican. Their hair could certainly belong to any of the mentioned ethnicities as they are all so diverse, but in the context of USA when I go to get a product, it’s always in the ‘black’ hair care section,” she told Yahoo Beauty. She says that styling her girls’ textured tresses was a learning process, particularly when it came to the type of products to use to keep her their hair healthy. “You get stressed and overwhelmed when you make or buy something and it isn’t the right fit for the hair. Constant trial and error.” But with a little research and good old-fashioned DIY sensibility, Rivera figured it out. “My girls have different kinds of hair and curls, so I need variations of a product. I also make hair serum for them with coconut oil, castor oil, and bergamot oil drops. I also use sweet almond oil and a tiny bit of wheat. Also indie products like butter cream from a Life Balanced for skin and hair.”

But as Kim Kardashian found and Rivera echoes, one of the most valuable tools when it comes to learning how to style black hair is having the support of and knowledge from people of African descent. “I was lucky enough to have some knowledge and background of black hair, and my kids have a community of Afro-descended women to share traditions. That always was a plus,” she said.

Thanks to technology and social media, it’s also easier than ever to get tips on how to properly care for textured hair types. With a simple YouTube search, confused parents can have a wealth of knowledge at their fingertips. But the most important thing to Rivera is that her daughters’ hair is healthy and that they love it, in spite of negative imagery or attitudes they may come across in their day-to-day life. “The most important thing for your child of African descent is that they love it themselves in a very white advertising/media world, and that they understand that health is wealth versus the vanity of it all!”

Back in 2012, an image of a white father, KTVU’s Frank Somerville, taking down his black daughter’s braids went viral, sparking tons of positive comments. It was a sweet moment and an example of caring parents who take the time to learn about their daughters’ different hair texture instead of throwing their hands up in exasperation. “Dad, you rock!!! I don’t like taking out my own braids and my dad would probably just laugh if I asked him to help. That’s love right there!” one commenter wrote. “Know it is hard work, but she will never forget these moments you were there for her and took the time to care,” another wrote.

At the end of the day, parents of kids with Afro-descended hair just want their kids to feel confident and have locks that are healthy. And the learning process is all just part of being a parent, no matter what the child looks like. In June, Somerville reflected on the post from years ago. “It was a Saturday morning. I had just finished working out. I had a ratty Cal Bears sweatshirt on. My hair was a mess. And I was helping my wife take out my daughter’s braids,” he wrote. “When I come home from work at midnight, I always poke my head in my daughter’s room. And I always think the same thing: She doesn’t look like me. I don’t look like her. But she’s my daughter. And I’m her dad. And THAT is a beautiful thing.”

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