Bathroom Hacks for Your When You Sleep at Her Place
You got laid, hooray! Everyone will be relieved. You’ve been very annoying these past three months with your incessant whining about how it’s been so long. You may still be celebrating, but there’s one thing you still need help with. You probably didn’t pack a change of clothes or toothbrush before going out last night. What is that smell coming out of your mouth? Is your hair a matted greasy mess? Don’t worry! Here are five ways to hack a stranger’s bathroom:
1. Wipe Your Face
You can’t seem to find any face wash and you are in a hurry to get to work. What’s this? A packet of disposable facial wipes? Perfect, and easy to use—just open the package and wipe all over your face. Then throw in the trash or flush down the toilet—your choice but choose your flush timing strategically. You don’t want to give off “I’m in here taking a leisurely poop” vibe.
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2. To Toothbrush or Not to Toothbrush
We have some pretty strong opinions about this one here in the GQ offices. Is it gross to use a stranger’s toothbrush? Some say no way, or suggest rinsing the brush in warm water before use. Others looked physically ill at the thought of borrowing such an intimate tool. We’ll leave this one to you. But if you opt for no toothbrush, you can always use your finger as a brush, just combine a dab of paste with a little gargle of mouth wash.
3. What About Your Pits?
The first glimpse into any medicine cabinet can be quite bewildering. Why do they have three pairs of tweezers? What are beta-blockers? What do they use this anti-itch cream for? If their deodorant frightens you with its intense name, is nonexistent, or is made of some sort of crystallized minerals, then we say, screw it just skip it. Rinse your rank pits over the sink or apply some nice smelling hand soap or lotion.
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4. De-Grease Your Dome
If you wake up to oily, dirty, bad-smelling hair pour a bit of baby powder into your palms and run them through the offending strands, distributing evenly. If you are more prone to giant, fluffy, unruly morning hair, replace your usual product from home with conditioner or even hand lotion in a pinch.
5. The Underwear Flip
Going commando is always an option. But if you don’t want to go to work with your parts rustling in the breeze, you can attempt the underwear flip. Step one: remove your underwear. Step two: turn underwear inside out. Step three: put underwear back on.
6. Chill Out
No one at work will notice you’re wearing yesterday’s outfit. They have better things to do, and it’s not always about you. Way to go on having sex though.
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Image: Getty
