Like any newlywed, Emily Ratajkowski must have found herself scrolling through her honeymoon pics and already wishing she was back at the exclusive Utah resort where she enjoyed her first days of married life with Sebastian Bear-McClard. Being a beautiful model, however, her Instagram flashbacks featured her posing unclothed for her partner. And while there were millions who admired these pics, a few critics spoke up on social media to ask, “Why share these nudεs with the world now that she’s married?”
“Posing for my husband like,” the actress and model captioned one photo.
“Then let it just be for your husband and not……the world?” wrote morganmfarrar in the comments. “I would be really turned off if I was him at this point. We get it, you’re hot. #tasteless”
But do these observers really believe Ratajkowski, who has become famous in part because of her willingness to bare all and embrace her sexuality, to ditch that side of herself and suddenly become a modest wallflower? Should she?
“The fact that after marriage, we are expected to keep everything sexy and sexual for only our partner is what leads to jealousy and insecurity,” Dr. Joe Kort, a sex and relationship therapist, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “The value has been to give false security to a partner — that if I go underground now with my sexual and sensual attractiveness, then you’ll be safe and we avoid infidelity. I think it’s the other way around. Talking openly about it and keeping it alive while maintaining the strength and attachment of the relationship is important.”
While Ratajkowski and Bear-McClard had a whirlwind relationship, one would have to assume he knew how much his wife likes to shed her clothes for the camera. Child and relationship therapist Dr. Fran Walfish says the key to any successful marriage is to talk about these kinds of issues early on, ideally before the wedding. Of the couples she’s seen in which one of them is sexy by profession, some roll with it easily, and others really don’t.
“There are some guys who marry women who are nudε models or bathing suit models, and it turns them on,” Walfish tells Yahoo. “There are a number of spouses who are just really solid together and don’t have jealousy in their nature, and they manage it just fine. They work it out and have excellent communication. In other couples, there’s jealousy, competition … and a lot of the marital time is spent arguing about things that didn’t occur, worries about potential problems that never happened.”
People do often change after getting married, but certainly not overnight, Walfish said. The time to find out about each other’s views on modesty, or other important topics like religion or childrearing, is while dating. After getting married, a couple might want to revisit these issues when they start to consider having children.
There are healthy ways to grow and change with your spouse, Kort says, but it requires work.
“If you want a healthy relationship without losing yourself emotionally, sexually, erotically or otherwise, then you must have ongoing intentional dialogue,” he advises. “You can stretch and engage in behavior changes for a partner but never change who you are unless you are unhappy with who you are.”
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