10 Ways Moms of Sons Can Make the World Better for Girls
By: Meredith Bodgas
Photo: Courtesy of Getty + Robert Daly
When I found out I was expecting a boy, I thought I wouldn’t have the opportunity to help a girl become a self-assured, independent person. But I was mistaken. There’s lots that mothers of sons can do to improve girls’ lives. I talked to moms around the country and abroad to find out what they’re doing.
RELATED: Mom Makes A Coloring Book of ‘Super-Soft Superheroes’ To Show Son It’s OK To Cry
1. Show them how hard yet valuable it is to care for children… Babysitting isn’t always easy money (hello, poopy diapers), but it’s worth doing—as a young woman OR man. Learning that childcare is the duty of responsible adults, regardless of their sex, can prepare him to be an equal partner in parenting when the time comes.
2. …and cook and clean. He needs to eat, right? He’d prefer not to live in squalor, right? Then he needs to know how to prepare meals and straighten up, and how good it can feel when the work is done. If he learns this is woman’s work, though, he won’t see a reason to pitch in when he’s older.
RELATED: This Photographer Wants to Change the Way You See Fatherhood
3. Don’t discourage them from exploring their interests, even if they’re what some would consider “girly.” I don’t often quote Madonna (OK, maybe I do), but she says it best in her 2000 hit, “What It Feels Like For A Girl:”
Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it’s OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
If a little lad reaches for the pink marker, don’t knock it out of his hand. If he wants to read the ballerina book (again), let him. Give him your blessing on these, and he won’t think girls who enjoy these things are somehow lesser-than.
4. Ask them how they’re feeling. In some homes, boys are encouraged to be so tough, they don’t feel comfortable crying or admitting they’re upset. Little guys should learn that it’s not only OK to be sad but it’s also good to express their emotions. When they know this, they may be more respectful when girls—and then women—do the same.
5. Encourage them to have both male and female friends. Maybe I’ll change my tune when my son becomes a hormone-controlled teenager, but spending outside-of-school time with peers of both genders, instead of just other boys, helps them see how smart and fun the opposite sex is in a way merely sitting in a classroom can’t. Plus, it makes girls seem less like “others.”
RELATED: 13 Things Your Mom Never Told You
6. Teach them acceptable ways to respond to girls who have crushes on them… Speaking of school, a fellow student may one day profess her young love for your child. Ripping up notes or writing hurtful things when they don’t return a classmate’s feelings are the kinds of responses that can shake a girl’s self-esteem. So prepare your mini stud with words like, “I’m flattered, but I don’t feel the same way” or “I’d be happy to be your friend.”
7. …and appropriate ways to behave in relationships. Few things are more disrespectful than ignoring someone, which is something so many young men do when they’re no longer interested in pursuing a relationship. Explain how, while tricky, 'fessing up when they don’t see a future is a courtesy they owe any woman they date.
8. Share your interests with them. While much of mothering revolves around basic care when they’re new to the world, once they’re old enough, loop them in on what you like to do, whether it’s karaoke or calligraphy. It’s crucial for them to see there’s more to you (and other women) than just being mom. Your passions may not necessarily become theirs, but it’s a bonding bonus if one sticks. Discovering that Mom loves superheroes, too, can open his eyes in a wonderful way.
9. Seek out female professionals. Constantly choosing male doctors, lawyers, accountants and more tells boys that either women don’t tend to hold these positions or you don’t trust the services of those who do. Neither is a belief that benefits girls.
10. Expose them to men who treat women well. All the ideas in this story apply to parents of both sexes, not just mothers (but this is WomansDay.com, after all). Boys seeing dads, uncles, grandfathers and male friends and teachers respecting women sends the message that they should do the same.
More from WomansDay.com:
Things You Should Never Say to a Woman Who Doesn’t Want Kids
Why I Mourn My Mother While She Is Alive
These 13 Baby Names Are On The Verge Of Extinction
