Top 10 sex fears: From unintended pregnancy to unruly body hair

Many people are worried that their partner will find their naked body unattractive (photo credit: iStock)

Afraid of doing the deed? You’re not alone.

For many people, the very thought of having sex can leave them grimacing.

“If you don’t know the person, and don’t know what the other person is thinking, it’s just natural to be nervous about it,” says Laura Bilotta, a GTA-based dating and relationship coach and host of Single in the City. “Especially when you’re not comfortable with someone else, you’re not comfortable with someone else’s body, the other person has never seen your body—you don’t know how they’re going to react.”

In a recent survey conducted by Superdrug Online Doctor, 2,000 men and women from across the U.S. and Europe ranked their top sex-related fears on a scale of 1 to 10 — with 1 being the least serious concern and 10 being the most serious.

Having sex with a partner who has a sexually transmitted infection is the most commonly-ranked fear (scoring an average of 6.9 out of 10), while an unintended pregnancy or a condom breaking ranks second (6 out of 10). Body image is important — people are particularly worried that their partners will find their nakedness unattractive (5.5 out of 10). Even couples in long-term, committed relationships can experience this particular sex fear.

“I know people who wouldn’t let their husbands see them naked—they’re ashamed of how they look, or how they got chubbier,” says Bilotta. “It’s not just a problem with first-time ‘sexers’—or the first time you have sex with someone—but it’s an ongoing problem with people as well in relationships.”

Other common sex fears that put people in a worrisome frenzy:

• Fear that your partner won’t be satisfied or have an orgasm

• Being bad at sex (4.8 out of 10)

• Post-coital awkwardness (4.4 out of 10)

• Being asked to do something you’re really not that comfortable doing  (4.3 out of 10)

• A partner finding you inexperienced (4.1 out 10)

• Body hair will be a turnoff (4 out of 10)

• An unexpected bodily function occurring during sex (4.3 out of 10)—this is the highest-ranked embarrassment-related sex fear, trumping even your partner finding you too kinky during sex, your partner being turned off by the noises you make and saying the wrong name during sex.

“Farting—what if you let one go? It can be embarrassing but if someone likes you, they like you, whether or not you fart during sex,” says Bilotta. “I don’t think it’s going to change their mind because we are human beings and that’s what we do, we let our gas go, and it’s not like we did it on purpose.”

(Photo ©: Superdrug Online Doctor)

Breaking down sex fears by gender

The top two fears for men: Sleeping with a partner who has an STD (No. 1) and their partner not having an orgasm (No. 2) — these fears trump an unexpected pregnancy (no. 3), premature ejaculation (No.4) and a small penis (No. 8).

Common fears for men include premature ejaculation and a partner finding their penis too small. Although the number one common fear for men is sleeping with a partner who has a sexually transmitted infection. (photo: iStock).

While some fears for men and women overlap (i.e. both genders fear being considered “bad” at sex) —many of the male fears surround insecurities, such as being unable to perform. But the top female fears involve possible consequences of sex: a partner who refuses to use protection or wear a condom (No. 1), a partner with an STI (No. 2) and unintended pregnancy (No.3).

Both genders have insecurities over breast size and penis size. Fear that a penis is too big ranks 2.9 out of 10 compared to 4.1 out of 10 for fear that a penis is too small. A woman who fears that her partner might find her breasts too small ranks 3.7 out of 10 compared to having boobs that a partner might perceive as too big (3 out of 10).

Bilotta ultimately suggests self-love to help overcome sex fears.

“I think it all comes back to accepting who you are and loving yourself. You have flaws and other people have flaws too — and that person that you’re going to be having sex with I’m sure isn’t perfect either.”

(Photo ©: Superdrug Online Doctor)

What’s your biggest fear in the bedroom? Let us know by tweeting @YahooStyleCA.