Let's talk about Britney, ya'll.
By now you've heard the rumors: Britney Spears is close to signing a reported $15 million dollar deal to become a judge on season two of Fox's The X Factor. This would be the worst decision Britney has made since she cheated on Justin Timberlake. Here's why.
First, Britney's image, while aggressively sexual, has always been built on an underlying theme of kindness and compassion. Even with all the fame and all the money, fans have always known that Britney was a sweetie-pie (something that made her mental meltdown all the more tragic). But reality shows require honesty. Or rather, they should require honesty. One big reason why Simon Cowell is still the best judge in the business.
And when the guise of her music video vixen has been shed, the fact remains, Britney will not be a bitch.
In the aftermath of her well-publicized and aforementioned involuntary hospitalization, Britney's team has gone to great lengths to rehab her image. One way in which they put her back onto that pop pedestal was by severely limiting her interaction with the press. Carson Daly famously put her team on blast for the meticulous way in which they controlled every soundbite of every interview while Spears promoted her last CD.
"I was jst TOLD my @britneyspears interview tomm on @ampradio MUST b pre-recorded & submitted 4 approval by HER mgmt b4 it can air! F THAT," he Tweeted back in March. "never that restricted. Even when I interviewed Michael Jackson, it wasn't anything like this…it's really insane. jst shocked her mgmt won't let her do a normal interview."
Many have attributed this to the fact that Britney is still somewhat unstable. That she's barely clinging to reality thanks to a careful concoction of medications and a life so sheltered, it makes Truman Burbank look wild by comparison.
Reality TV stands in stark contrast to the world Britney's team -- in particular, her fiance/manager, Jason Trawick -- have concocted for her. Reality TV is rough stuff. Just ask Nicole Scherzinger. The Pussycat Doll thought judging season one of X Factor would be a romp. "I wanted to be part of the show. I love the show," she said last June ... and then the nation turned on her for taking an ambivalent stance on a particular axing, which led to the elimination -- and gut-wrenching breakdown -- of fan-favorite Rachel Crowe.
Following that, the crowd wildly booed while Nicole hysterical cried. They even spent the next week bombarding her Facebook page with venomous comments that ranged from "almost 98% of the population in this world hates u" to "you are a disgrace of a judge an ultimately a disgrace of a human being."
Britney is not equipped to handle this. Not the life-altering decisions, not the spontaneity of live television, not the endless press that comes with participating in a show like this and certainly not the unwanted attention should things go poorly.
That's why I'm praying this all turns out to be one big rumor. I would much rather have Britney in my ears than on my television -- after all, her particular brand of pop hasn't gone stale in the decade and a half since Brit Brit cooed into the camera and flirted with her cousin in the Baby ... One More Time music video. So save the reality TV for a time when you can't fit in the corset Britney, because right now is the time to sing.
Or, well, you know ... whatever it is that she does.