Lindsay Lohan was on a reality show this week ("Million Dollar Decorators") and somehow she didn't make our list. What is the world coming to in 2013?
Adriana ("Real Housewives of Miami")
On the reunion, she was obnoxious and called Joanna a slut (well, she called her "Ho-Anna," which is the same thing, though admittedly a little fabulous) and accused her of sleeping with Joe "Girls Gone Wild" Francis. And she didn't really apologize for any of her accusations.
Mike ("Storage Wars: New York")
It was only the premiere, but we already dislike his poor attitude and the fact that we have to hear about his digestive issues. Perhaps we could tolerate him if we thought his stereotypical character was at all an actual human being.
John ("Top Chef")
He thinks he wasn't a jerk because he actually decided to share the pickles, on a head-to-head challenge that involved pickles? Sharing a mandatory ingredient isn't optional, idiot. Then he stole all of Lizzie's dill, nudged her out of the way, kept opening the oven and made so many excuses that the judges were openly mocking him?
Abby ("Dance Moms")
She's back and up to all of her old horrible tricks, but this time she wore more makeup and looked like she had lost a few pounds. So there's that. But still, railing into little kids and their families for having the nerve to take vacations was just utterly unfair. And attacking the moms who actually returned? Not to mention callously not letting Nia know if she'd get to perform and taking Chloe's lead role away from her? We can't say that we blame Kelly for taking a long hiatus.
Ann ("Cheer Perfection")
If we had to sit on a bench next to this lazy woman for hours each week, we'd probably punch her. She was given one task for the fundraiser, didn't do it and then bitched and complained when anyone asked her how it was going. All while leaving her poor supposed friend on crutches to do all the heavy lifting for the event. She couldn't even properly man a booth. And why didn't she have time? Because she was too busy sleeping until noon or so every day.
Winner: John ("Top Chef")
Ann was pretty close, but John taking credit for Anthony Bourdain's entire career really tipped him over the edge. Whether it's partially true or not, it's still douchey to brag like that.
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