Just in time for Mother's Day... a week when children disappointed their parents in so many ways.
Caroline ("Real Housewives of New Jersey")
Caroline likes to make her daughter, Lauren, feel like crap about herself because she isn't skinny like her brothers. And telling her that she'd have fat children -- and that if she loses weight, she can be successful in life -- is just bitchy. Not only did Caroline attack her daughter for being heavy, but she also didn't stop her husband or kids from picking on Lauren mercilessly while she was attempting to diet. We hope Lauren doesn't get her a good Mother's Day present.
Vicki ("Real Housewives of Orange County")
Speaking of "RH" moms who don't deserve gifts this weekend, may we also present Vicki, who was devastated when her daughter (who is in her 20s) decided to elope with the guy she's been dating for two years. She was mortified by this decision and ashamed to tell her friends. Oh, did we mention that Brianna had survived a major cancer scare, and the young man she eloped with just got home from fighting for his country? It's not as if they were two reckless teens on "16 and Pregnant" or something.
John Rich ("Celebrity Apprentice")
He did a fundraising inquisition as part of being on Trump's advisory committee for the final task but mostly used it to brag about how awesome he was during his own season. And he gave each finalist grief about not raising as much cash as he had but was unaware (or didn't care) that there were very few fundraising tasks over the course of this particular season. And saying that Aubrey should have asked Diddy for money is ridiculous. He really needed to do some research before ranting.
Get a sneak peek at this week's "Celebrity Apprentice" right here:
Kelly ("Toddlers & Tiaras")
We try to resist putting "T&T" moms on this list, as they are such easy targets, but this one was a real piece of work. She had a set of twins, Alycesandra and Giavanna, and obviously favored one over the other. One girl gets to perform with a cute little lamb; the other gets an ugly turkey. Kelly kept referring to Giavanna as "the other one" in interviews, ignored Gia in order to throw a tantrum about not winning cash, and bitched at an announcer for not pronouncing Aly's name properly. C'mon, that name has like 100 extra letters, so cut the lady some slack. Also, there was turkey poop all over the hotel room, and you know she didn't clean that up. Plus, she has a tour bus exclusively for her children to use to go to pageants and has spent an estimated "half a million dollars" on her small girls' pageant careers. That's a lot of money when you can't even remember one kid's name.
Dave ("The Amazing Race")
He may have won the race, but he went out like a loser. In the grand tradition of previous co-winner Flo, he was a nightmare all season, screaming at his partner about everything. When they missed the ferry, he blamed her for their losing the grand prize, whined more than a kid without a crown on "Toddlers & Tiaras," and was an egomaniac during their helicopter ride. We feel for his wife/partner Rachel. Though Rachel (the one from "Big Brother") and her purse-throwing antics weren't all that much better.
In addition to making her daughter feel like dirt about eloping, Vicki also used the celebration of their marriage to foist her weird new boyfriend onto each of her kids, creating two of the most awkward encounters ever -- especially since both children said they had no interest in meeting the guy their mom was screwing. And Vicki thought it was fine because Brianna put her in a situation of having to accept her daughter's boyfriend of two years as a son-in-law, not understanding why that's different from expecting your kids to accept some strange guy she's been dating for a couple of months as their new father figure. Even worse, the fact that she's still married to someone else didn't register with her at all.
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