Nothing like singing your heart out for one final chance at reality TV/singing stardom only to receive an unceremonious slap on the rump from Carson Daly that sends you down the gauntlet of potential anonymity.
But yep, this is The Voice, and that’s how the results-show telecasts are structured: America picks three out of six singers from each coach’s team to advance; the three vocalists in limbo grab their mics, one at a time, to try to earn a repireve; and then our trusty host brushes ‘em off the stage while a decision is made about which one earned another week in the competition and an awkward interview in the social-media room with Christina “Dip It Low” Millian.
But enough about the superfluous details, let’s talk results.
Voted Through by America
“In no particular order!” –Carson, channeling Steve “we miss your jawline already!” Jones
Three letters: Pip (Three more letters: UGH)
(It’s a win for uni-monikered singers everywhere!)
Kim Yarbrough: Jennifer Hudson’s “Spotlight” — Her face spelled defeat, her neck spelled a failure of air-conditioning, but her voice was pure victory. I like her old-school belt-eration. “Baby open your eyes!”
Karla Davis: Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” — I really loved her in Battle Rounds, but girlfriend just doesn’t have the breath support to sustain her musical ambitions.
Katrina Parker: No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak” — Solid in a peanut butter and jelly kinda way, but I don’t know where this soulful stylist got the idea she’s a rock chick.
Adam’s Save (coincidentally, the unanimous pick of his fellow judges)
TEAM CEE LO
Voted Through by America
Juliet Simms (hell yeah)
Jamar Rogers (Hell Yeah: Part Deux!)
James “Hairband” Massone
Tony Vincent: Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” — The crouching! The man-scarf! The snarling! I think I saw a horror film based on this performance once upon a time.
Cheesa: Eric Carmen’s “All Ny Myself” — Not sure why she wore a white nightgown to her last-chance performance, but the vocal was like something you’d get at the butcher shop: Meaty, raw, and bloody good.
Erin Martin: Elton John’s “Your Song” — Sorry, dear, the competition already has Mathai for jazzy vocal quirkiness, and not only does she hit her notes and know how to pronounce one-syllable words, she also didn’t get the egomanicac edit.
Cee Lo’s Save (coincidentally, the unanimous pick of his fellow judges)
Cheesa. Or at least I think it was Cheesa. Cee Lo’s mind said Tony, but his heart said Cheesa. And Carson assumed heart trumped mind. So, yes, Cheesa! And yes, another win for the uni-monikered!
What did you think of this week’s results? Sound off in the comments, and for all my reality TV news, interviews, and recaps, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!