‘UnREAL’ Recap: Nothing's Fair in Reality TV Warfare

Warning: This recap for the “Guerilla” episode of UnREAL contains spoilers.

Sometimes, to win, you have to play dirty. On UnREAL, that’s the case all the damn time.

We saw Rachel try to play dirty last week by secretly betraying her mentor and it blew up in her face, with Coleman coming in to run the show. Now, Quinn plays dirty by basically setting up Brandi to have a meltdown on camera, all so she can get control of the show back — and it blows up in her face. Instead of getting accolades from Gary the Network Exec, he gives Coleman the credit and the keys to a brand-new car.

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And all Quinn gets for her underhanded tactics (and gonzo ratings) is the knowledge that Rachel stabbed her in the back. “Money. Dick. Power.”? Sure, but it’s every woman for herself.

Here’s a rundown of the premiere, including our live tweets:

Warrior princess

The crew is setting up some kind of obstacle course, the brainchild of Chet, which means it’s bound to be a disaster. He wants Darius to ride an ATV through a field of explosions — like “Miss America meets American Ninja” — but Darius shies away from that. Hey, he’s under contract. His body is a commodity.

Rachel and Quinn complain to each other about Coleman’s arrival, and Quinn decides she’s not going to take this lying down. She will go back to producing a couple of contestants, and hits up Dr. Wagerstein for their psych profiles.

Quinn zeroes in on Brandi, the MMA fighter with a bad childhood, and Chantal, the fragile debutante who lost her fiancé in a car crash. First, she hits up Brandi, bonding with her over their traumatic pasts.

In the control room, Coleman is watching it all and wonders if it’s true. Rachel says this time it is, but it doesn’t really matter. Quinn knows what she’s doing. And to prove she knows what she’s doing, as well, Rachel starts needling him about his last relationship. Coleman gets defensive and starts to argue, and Rachel smiles triumphantly. “Just so you know, that’s how you make the show.”

In “Other Contestant News,” Jeremy hits on Yael aka Hot Rachel, while Jay pleads with Ruby not to be so strident about Black Lives Matter. Madison is trying to be the new Rachel and work on Beth Ann by whispering that her Twitter is blowing up thanks to her outspokenness.

Filming on the obstacle course begins, and the first group consists of Chantal, Brandi, Tiffany, and London. Those four names together makes our heads hurt, but moving on… Tiffany and London fall behind, and at the end, it comes down to Chantal and Brandi. As they’re climbing a wall, Brandi takes out Chantal, who falls and is knocked unconscious.

Quinn orders Rachel to take Brandi to reality TV jail, and for the crew to set up a fake hospital room for Chantal.

Prince Charming

Seeming impressed by how Quinn has set up this whole thing, Coleman agrees to let her take charge on filming for the rest of the evening. She has Rachel prep Darius for a bedside visit with Chantal, complete with balloons and stuffed animals. He’s ready to charm her pain away, and he does just that with a kiss! Quinn celebrates.

The evening cocktail party begins, and Ruby, taking Jay’s advice, borrows a hot little dress. That gets Darius’s attention right away, but as they start talking, Beth Ann comes over to steal him away. This riles up Ruby, who calls her a bitch. They start sniping at each other, before storming away. Jay warns Ruby that this is not a good path to go down, and if she’s really that smart, she’ll start acting like it.

Quinn visits Brandi, who looks like a caged tiger.

Brandi wants out of the box so bad, but Quinn just pokes at her some more, asking about her childhood. “Did someone hurt you?”

Then, it’s Rachel’s turn to “go in for the kill.” She informs Brandi that they’re giving her the one-on-one date with Darius for winning the obstacle course challenge, but urges Brandi to be honest with him about her dark secrets.

Related: 6 Things to Know About ‘UnREAL’ Season 2

The date takes place, and Brandi opens up to Darius about growing up in foster care and how one foster father burned cigarettes on her arm. She starts to cry (Quinn basically does a dance), and Darius kisses her (Quinn basically dies of happiness).

Oh, but that’s not the end of the story. Far from it! Quinn has a much more dastardly plan up her sleeve. She brings Darius to her office, where they put on fake sad faces. They tell Darius that they found Brandi’s real mother and that Brandi is lying about being in foster care.

King of the castle

The elimination ceremony gets underway, and Darius announces he isn’t cutting four girls. He’s rewriting the playbook (nice sports pun). Instead, he goes up to Brandi and announces that he knows she lied to him. Brandi protests that she wasn’t lying and doesn’t know the woman they say is her mother. But when he eliminates her, Brandi goes nuts and attacks him. Security has to drag her away. Coleman is, again, impressed.

Quinn dials up Gary the Network Exec and crows about giving him suicide-level ratings, all by herself. But when Gary shows up in a shiny new sports car, he doles out credit to the entire crew. And then he singles out Coleman and rewards him with the keys. Oh no he didn’t!

He takes Quinn aside and condescendingly says that they only got this great footage because Coleman is there to push them. And then he reveals that he brought in Coleman because Rachel threw her under the bus.

Rachel panics, realizing that Quinn now knows what she did, but Coleman reassures her that she can win without Quinn. Then they start making out! Well, that really didn’t take long.

Later, when Rachel goes to check on Darius, he isn’t doing so well. Is he nursing an injury that could derail his career?

Oh, also, Chet stole a baby. Because, Chet.

UnREAL airs Mondays at 10 p.m. on Lifetime.