TV Babies Power Ranking: Which Tot Reigns Supreme?
Babies are the worst. Not real ones — they’re totally cute and lovable. We’re talking about TV babies, because it’s been scientifically proven that TV babies ruin shows.
But there’s something of a baby boom on television right now, and the havoc that these tiny tots wreak correlates directly to how much power they wield over their show. Do they drive storylines? Do they cause other characters to change? Are they perhaps even — gasp! — the reason the show exists?
We’ll see just how much a baby can move mountains and set the seas churning on this week’s Grandfathered, when little Edie has her second birthday party. She hasn’t lifted a finger, and Richie Sambora is going to be there!
So, we devised a formula — including story sway, cuteness, and fan support — to calculate just how powerful 14 current TV babies are. (For fairness, we excluded babies who are actively talking.)
Who will emerge triumphant from this brutal Baby Battle Royale?
14. Little Sam, Game of Thrones
Kind of useless, except as motivation for Big Sam (John Bradley) to take care of Gilly (Hannah Murray).
(Credit: HBO)
13. Baby, Life in Pieces
Pretty sure Greg and Jen’s baby girl doesn’t even have a name. But her presence has caused all sorts of issues for the parents, like Greg getting arrested on a diaper run.
(Credit: Richard Cartwright/CBS)
12. Judith, The Walking Dead
Honestly, until Rick (Andrew Lincoln) offered to let Morgan (Lennie James) hold Judith in the Season 6 premiere, we forgot she even existed. When she was first born, Judith was an important figure, since her birth ended mother Lori’s life. Then, Rick’s group had to face danger in finding formula and diapers and such. Now? Judith is rarely seen and definitely never heard.
(Credit: AMC)
11. John, Reign
As Francis’s (Toby Regbo) bastard son, John presents all sorts of complications. His existence caused lots of problems between Francis and Mary (Adelaide Kane) and between Mary and Lola (Anna Popplewell). And he could be used as a pawn by anyone looking to gain the throne of France — which is very dangerous now that Francis is dying.
(Credit: The CW)
10. Neal, Once Upon a Time
He may be a prince, but baby Neal doesn’t wield any royal power yet. He was at the center of the storyline when Zelena needed to use him as an ingredient in a spell, but since then, he’s always being shoved to a babysitter while mom Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) and dad Prince Charming (Josh Dallas) run off to save the day.
(Credit: Getty Images)
9. Andre and Rhonda’s unborn baby, Empire
Even in the womb, this baby Lyon is negotiating deals and engaging in the power struggle for the family business. Lucious (Terrence Howard) is all about leaving behind a legacy, and as his first grandchild, this kid will stand to inherit it all.
(Credit: Fox)
8. Leo, The Mindy Project
This charmer might be the best dressed baby on the list (he has Mindy for a mom, after all). His arrival has transformed the Hulu comedy; Mindy no longer worries about her romantic travails, but mommy problems, like whether or not to go back to work. And miraculously, the show is still funny!
(Credit: Hulu)
7. Edie, Grandfathered
Jimmy Martino (John Stamos) was a bachelor and playboy, owner of a sleek and popular eatery. It doesn’t seem like anything could change this guy’s ways… until a cute baby girl arrives in his life. She’s already got Jimmy babysitting and missing awesome parties for “family day.” And without her, the show doesn’t exist. Grandpa, you’ve already lost.
(Credit: Fox)
6. Bailey and Ellis (inset), Grey’s Anatomy
The kids of the amazing doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial might not perform surgeries or save lives, but they provide storylines just as big and juicy as a car crash or ferry sinking. From Bailey being born in a blackout to Ellis’s surprise existence, these tykes have been central to Grey’s Anatomy. Let’s give one to Alex, stat!
(Credit: Getty Images; ABC)
5. The Kappa Kappa Tau Baby, Scream Queens
Who is the “Red Devil” killer torturing the students of Lakewood? The juicier mystery is the identity of the baby born to the Kappa Kappa Tau pledge in the ‘90s. Obviously, the baby and Red Devil are linked. So who did the baby grow up to be? Is it Grace (the prevailing theory)? Or someone else with more insidious motives? Whoever this baby is, he/she brought a whole world of trouble with their birth.
(Credit: Fox)
4. Hope, The Originals
Hope is the rarest of all supernatural beings — she’s a vampire, werewolf, and witch all in one! She’s not only the heir to the Mikaelson family of original vampires through dad Klaus (Joseph Morgan), but she’s werewolf royalty as the daughter of pack queen mom Hayley (Phoebe Tonkins). Hope is extremely powerful as a witch, and the vampire blood inside her can sire new vamps and hybrids. She’s been pursued since the day she was born, by other witches, including her evil Great-Aunt Dahlia. And Hope is the only thing keeping the Mikaelson family together.
(Credit: The CW)
3. Cadence, Nashville
This little girl definitely inherited a powerful set of lungs from her mama, Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere)! Cadence has been front and center for the past two seasons, as Juliette dealt with being pregnant, then suffering postpartum depression. In Nashville, things have gotten very Three Men and a Baby, as Avery (Jonathan Jackson) took Cadence to live with Gunnar and Will. She’s already covering the tabloids, soaking up all the attention, and throwing tantrums at concerts — a diva just like mom!
(Credit: ABC)
2. Maggie Simpson, The Simpsons
She may not talk (much), but never underestimate the youngest Simpson. Don’t forget — she shot Mr. Burns! She can play the sax and bowl a perfect game, engineered a scheme for the babies in her daycare to regain their pacifiers, and once crawled all over town. She’s probably smarter than the rest of her family (even Lisa). Mess with Maggie Simpson at your peril.
(Credit: Fox)
1. Mateo, Jane the Virgin
This little tyke was just born, but he’s already the most important character on the show. In fact, he’s been the most important character on the show since it premiered! Mateo’s existence is what fuels the plotlines on Jane the Virgin. His accidental conception changed the lives of his mom Jane (Gina Rodriguez), dad Rafael (Justin Baldoni), and a dozen other people connected to them. If he could wield so much power in the womb, can you imagine what he’ll do now that he’s been born?
(Credit: The CW)
