Our best moments of the week:
12. Best Dynasty Homage: There's been a lot of death and violence on The Following, but until this week, the show had been seriously lacking one key dramatic television component: a catfight. Fortunately, we can check off that box after Claire confronts Emma, the Follower who posed as her nanny and kidnapped her son. Claire slams her against the wall in a chokehold and repeatedly insists, "I'm going to kill you." Just the kind of woman who might marry a serial killer, ay? We finally get it now!
11. Way Too Soon Award: Sure, Mindy and Danny have had their fair share of sweetness on The Mindy Project this season, but we're at least five seasons away from being ready for them to become a will-they-won't-they couple. Which is why it's so unsettling when, on a plane ride back from a conference in Sante Fe, Mindy and Danny suddenly clasp hands when the plane hits some turbulence just hours after Mindy's ex, Josh, tells her he always felt a vibe between her and Danny. Seriously? We're still doing our best to come to grips with the whole Nick-Jess thing on New Girl, so let's just slow this train down a bit.
10. Best Burn: Speaking of, all those fans who are still uneasy about Nick and Jess' awkward coupling have to give major props to Cece. When she and Jess argue about Cece's fast-approaching nuptials, Cece takes things up notch, calling out Jess for her super-cutesy pajamas and her "seventh-grade debacle" with Nick. "Oh, I'm a single adult! And I kissed another single adult! What's going to happen?! Does Nick like me?" she whines. She has a point about the pajamas though.
9. Biggest Leap of Faith: On a show with as much backstabbing as Dallas, it takes a grand gesture to show one's loyalty. So when John Ross proves to Pamela that it was her father, Ewing family rival Cliff Barnes, who caused the oil-rig explosion that killed Pamela's unborn twins, she tricks her father into giving her one-third of his company, which she plans to turn over to the Ewings. A still-uneasy John Ross needs more of a commitment though, so he asks her to marry him — and she accepts! "You doing this because you love me or because you hate your father?" he asks her. "I do," she responds. Well, that clears that up?
8. Game On Award: On NCIS, Ziva reveals that she, with McGee's help, has gone rogue and is secretly tracking down Bodnar, the man who killed her father and Vance's wife. At Tony's urging, they come clean to Gibbs, who, of course, already knows about it. But that's not the biggest surprise: He tells Ziva to pursue Bodnar in Rome — and to take Tony with her. Oh, it is on!
7. Sweetest Tribute: Andy Dick, sober, earnest and with a new lease on life, dedicates his Viennese waltz to his 15-year-old daughter Meg on Dancing with the Stars — a moving, gorgeous and sweet routine that makes up in emotion what it lacks in technique. Judge Carrie Ann Inaba is reduced to a blubbering mess. "Come here," she says, bringing in Dick for a hug. "[It] was like the simplest poem. Your movement vocabulary is small, but what you said with those few words is so beautiful."
6. Weirdest Reveal: Finally! After 12 episodes, Rachel takes a break from abandoning her family to answer the question on everyone's mind: What caused Revolution's blackout? The answer: A couple hundred-quadrillion microscopic computer-like entities (think: nanobots) that absorb electricity and continuously replicate. While this sounds more than a little otherworldly, creator Eric Kripke has insisted that the blackout's cause is totally plausible. If that's really true, let's just hope that there's no grieving Department of Defense secretary to make these little buggers a reality.
5. Worst Exit: Sadly, Coach Sue's shining moments of hilarity and treachery have been few and far between this season on Glee. So when she's shown packing up her office at the end of the episode, it's not exactly the worst thing Gleeks could imagine. Instead, it's the way she loses her job — she takes the fall for Becky, her spunky protégée, who accidentally fired a gun in a moment of fear and sadness — that is bizarre, unbelievable and just plain unfit for the Cheerios' longtime leader. We always thought Coach Sue's antics would get her booted someday, but like this? That's just now we... C it.
4. Most Intense Episode: Southland's penultimate episode of the season (series?) continues to up-end tired cop-show clichés. The show takes on the "squabbling partners are stuck in a life-threatening situation" trope as John Cooper and Henry Lucero are kidnapped by some tweakers the morning after Cooper revealed that he was gay to his clearly uncomfortable partner. But rather than having the men eventually escape and bond over heartwarming heroics, a number of intense scenes depict Lucero being beaten and shot right before Cooper's eyes. Cooper eventually escapes to a nearby gas station when after literally having to dig his own grave. The kidnappers turn on each other, shoot at Cooper and leave him for dead. He lies on the pavement exhausted and haunted — which is exactly how we felt as well.
3. Image Rehab Award: Lindsay Lohan makes a pre-rehab stop on The Late Show with David Letterman and Dave doesn't let her forget it. Wasting no time, Letterman grills LiLo about her past stints (she's had "several," she says) in rehab, if she has "addiction problems" ("We've discussed this in the past") and what she's "rehabbing" this time. "We didn't discuss this in the pre-interview," Lohan curtly replies. Awkward! Fortunately, Lohan, seemingly serious about her upcoming treatment, loosens up as the interview goes on and proves that she does have a sense of humor, joking that she and Letterman are destined for a tabloid cover after he says that he's spent some time on the couch. "We can do our own photo together about that," she quips, feigning a pose with Dave. "It's like this: 'I've done my time.'" And you're not done yet!
2. Old Habits Die Hard: Ah, the certainties in life: death, taxes and Don Draper cheating. Just when we think he has changed his ways with Megan, Mad Men's Season 6 premiere ends with a gut-punch of a reveal: Don's having an affair with Sylvia (Linda Cardellini), the wife of his neighbor Dr. Rosen (Brian Markinson). Is anyone that shocked that Don regressed? Not really. But maybe there's some hope yet. "What do you want for this year?" Sylvia asks him post-coitus. Don: "I want to stop doing this."
1. Best Performance: Candice Glover proves to be The Cure for an otherwise drab season of American Idol with her jazzy, soulful rendition of the band's hit "Lovesong" that has Mariah Carey showering her with glitter (um, does she just have it at the ready?) and Randy Jackson declaring it one of the greatest performances in Idol history. And for once, we don't take issue with his hyperbole. Seriously, how good was it? So good that a random, almost demonic voice growls "Love you!" right in the middle of it. Was it an excited P.A.? The Idol Gods (aka Nigel Lythgoe) giving her the seal of approval? The ghost of Simon? Whoever it is, we agree with you!
What were your top moments?