Our top moments of the week:
8. Don't Caption This Award: MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry lands in hot water during her "What's So Funny About 2013?" segment when her panelists, actress Pia Glenn and comedian Dean Obeidallah, take aim at Mitt Romney's grandson Kieran, who is black. "One of these things is not like the others; one of these things is not the same," Glenn says after the family's Christmas photo pops up. Obeidallah adds: "I think that this picture is great. It really sums up the diversity of the Republican Party. The RNC — at the convention — they find the one black person." Harris-Perry chimes in as well, joking that Kieran and North West will marry in 2040; she has since apologized.
7. Best Damage Control: Days after A&E lifted its suspension on Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson for making anti-gay remarks, Willie and Korie Robertson wisely choose not to ruffle any feathers on Fox News' New Year's Eve special. In their first interview since the scandal, the jovial pair deflect Bill Hemmer and Elisabeth Hasselbeck's pressing questions about the controversy, reiterating that they're ready to move on. "A&E and us are fine [and] we're looking forward to getting back to making some funny shows," Willie says. "It's a new year, so we're ready to break in a new year and start all over again." How's that for PR training?
6. Weirdest Surprise Guest: Jimmy Kimmel goes all out for the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl by hosting "The Worst Contest Ever," aka asking viewers to send him a single chip in the mail for him to eat on camera during the college football game. After Kimmel goes so far as to break in to the home of the "winner" by breaking a window, he also brings along a very special guest who knows an awful lot about chips: CHiPs star Erik Estrada. We don't know what hurt more: Estrada banging into the wall as he awkwardly enters through the window or that pun.
5. Stuck on You Award: Despite her threat to ring in 2014 topless, Kathy Griffin keeps her clothes on during her seventh straight New Year's Eve show with Anderson Cooper — and keeps the silver fox close. Shortly before midnight, after "days" of planning, the comedienne handcuffs herself to an oblivious Cooper without, so she says, a key. "This is truly my worst nightmare," he says. "I will gnaw off my hand." Fortunately, AC doesn't have to go all Mama Pope on his wrist, as security frees him eventually, but unfortunately for us, the rescue is not shown on air!
4. Best Performance: It's one thing to sing in a movie; it's a whole other task to perform before such luminaries as the president and first lady, Stevie Wonder, Billy Joel, Herbie Hancock, Kathy Bates, Glenn Close and Shirley MacLaine. Anna Kendrick stuns the crowd during the Kennedy Center Honors with her live and, uh, pitch perfect performance of "It's Not Where You Start, It's Where You Finish" for honoree MacLaine, before holding her own against Broadway vets Sutton Foster, Karen Olivo and Patina Miller on "Lord Help Us, We Love Her." Lest we forget: Kendrick got a Tony nomination when she was 12!
3. Worst Lie: On Parenthood, Julia tries to distance herself as much as possible from Ed after their kiss. But when Ed has a few too many drinks at a school function and tries to talk to her, sparks fly (not in a good way), and Ed and Joel nearly come to blows. Joel confronts Julia moments later and asks point blank if anything is going on between her and Ed. Not only does Julia lie and not tell him about their kiss, but Joel says that he doesn't believe her and walks off to find a cab ride home. Well, that definitely could have gone better.
2. ABC Award: While Chevy Chase's hologram return is a fun surprise, nothing on Community's hour-long premiere tops Abed's Nicolas Cage meltdown. The normally restrained film buff combines two of the Internet's favorite things (cats and Nicolas Cage losing his sh--) in a hilarious rant when he can't figure out whether the actor is good or bad. So remember, guys: Always Be Cageing. But not too much, or else you'll go a little crazy.
1. Get a Room Award: It's no surprise that Jenny McCarthy and her beau Donnie Wahlberg would kiss at midnight on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest. But no one is prepared for the couple's prolonged PDA (tongue included, obviously) that lasts almost as long as "Auld Lang Syne." When they finally come up for air, the lovebirds make no secret of their plans later that night. "What's better: kissing me on New Year's or performing on New Year's?" McCarthy asks. "Kissing you on New Year's and ... performing later, much later," he quips. "In about half an hour." This baby speaks for all of us.
What were your top moments?