Top 5 "Sanford and Son" Funniest Lines

Dwayne C. Nelson
Yahoo! Contributor Network

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Mostly due to the antics of Redd Foxx (Fred) and his hilarious supporting cast of Demond Wilson (son Lamont), LaWanda Page (sister-in-law Esther) and Don Bexley (best friend Bubba), "Sanford and Son" is not only one of the best but also one of the funniest black sitcoms of all time.

Although it's been 33 years since the sitcom went off the air, fans can still luckily watch reruns of the 1970s classic show and get some chuckles oftentimes on cable stations like TV Land, BET and TV One.

So without further ado, here are my Top 5 funniest lines from "Sanford and Son." Please read, enjoy and share your favorite line or two.

5). "You old fish-eyed fool." - Aunt Esther Anderson

Aunt Esther was frequently the target of Fred's insults on the show. But she was no slouch either when it came to cracking jokes herself and retaliating against Fred. Sometimes an individual doesn't have to say a whole lot to get their point across. When Aunt Esther simply said, "You old fished-eyed fool," the TV audience knew she had had enough of the 65-year-old Fred's verbal jabs, and it was time he backed off.

4). "I ain't afraid to give you one across the lips." - Fred Sanford

Fred typically said and did stuff older men don't do, which is what made the sitcom so hilarious at times. The retired junk dealer oftentimes complained of having arthritis in his hands. Nevertheless that never slowed him from challenging family, friends and strangers to a fistfight. Fred would ball up his hand, hold it up high in the air and tell whomever, "I ain't afraid to give you one across the lips," meaning to punch them in their jaw.

3). "For a dummy, you make a lot of sense." - Fred Sanford

It's highly unlikely most sons would put up with the constant ridiculing and foolishness from their fathers every day, but somewhat Lamont managed to do so. Whenever Fred thought his son came up with a brilliant idea, he would say, "For a dummy, you make a lot of sense." The ironic and funniest part about the line is that predominately it was Lamont who made sense, and it was Fred who said and did "dumb" things throughout the show.

2). "You're so ugly I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies." - Fred Sanford

Fred always picked on poor Aunt Esther. Maybe once or twice he didn't have at least one negative word to say to her during scenes together on the show. One of the cruelest but funniest lines he said to his bible-bearing sister-in-law was, "You're so ugly I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies." On a scale of 1-to-10 in a game of dozens, that would rank a 10. While harsh, it was absolutely hilarious at the time.

1). "You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you honey." - Fred Sanford

Fred was a widower who always kept his deceased wife, Elizabeth, in his daily thoughts. Sometimes he would just "speak" peacefully to her about things going on. However, occasionally when something potentially disastrous occurred in his life, he would grab his heart pretending like he was having a heart attack and yell out, "You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you honey," implying he was dying. It didn't matter how many times you heard this line and witnessed Fred's silliness. It was just as funny the first as well as the last time.

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