The 'Walking Dead' Brain-Dead Move of the Week: C'mon In! Gate's Open!

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Every week on The Walking Dead, someone does something stupid that needlessly endangers the lives of themselves and others. Here, we commemorate those decisions in the hopes that they won’t be repeated. But of course, we know they will be.

Quick, what’s the most important part of having a gated community during a zombie apocalypse? Yep, you’ve got it: CLOSE THE GATE. See, if the gate’s not closed, it kind of defeats the entire purpose of having a gate. You might as well be out there in the woods sleeping in shifts and eating squirrel steak.

But this very basic rule of gate maintenance was ignored in this week’s TWD season finale — and it’s a damn miracle that nobody died because of it.

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Which brings us to another nagging question: How are these people not dead already? The Alexandria locals have screwed up so many times over the past few weeks that we can’t believe their fortress wasn’t overrun by walkers a long time ago. How did they even have time to get the walls up?

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Anyway, the trouble started when the super annoying Father Gabriel came back from yet another failed suicide mission. (Guy can’t even kill himself right.) Deanna’s son Spencer was dumb enough — sorry, Deanna, we like you, but you sure had some dumb-ass kids — to leave Gabriel in charge of the gate because he had to run off to… stand around stoically at the town meeting? And Gabriel promptly left the front door gaping open. Because Gabriel is the worst.

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(But really, even if they left the gate open, why wasn’t there someone in the watchtower ready to pick off those walkers and sound the alarm? Do they just drop all security measures any time there’s a town meeting? How the hell are these people not dead already???)

It’s up to Rick to discover the rather large security breach:

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And after struggling with a few walkers who wandered inside, Rick interrupts the town meeting by chucking a zombie corpse at everybody. (Say what you want about the man, but Rick Grimes knows how to make an entrance.)

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Sure, Rick was understandably upset that the gate was left open — and even went on to use it as a prime example of why he should be in charge. But guess who left that gate open, Ricky? That’s right: a guy you brought in here!

It was your poor judgment in keeping Gabriel around (when he was never really anything but an anchor on the group) that led to the invasion. So go ahead and drop that dead zombie at your own feet, buddy.

And Morgan… oh man, you have no idea what you’re walking into here. Have you seen how things have worked out for black guys this season? (Bob, Tyreese, Noah…) Our advice: Take your cool-ass ninja stick and get out of Alexandria while you still can.

Runners-Up: The guy with the W on his forehead, for telling Morgan he was planning to kill him, ensuring that he and his buddy got a good ol’ fashioned stick-whupping. Here’s a tip: If you’re planning to kill someone, don’t warn them first… Deanna’s husband Reg, for trying to restrain a lunatic carrying a very sharp sword. Maybe in the next life, you’ll take a step back and let a guy like Rick Grimes handle it.

The Walking Dead returns this fall on AMC.