The 'Walking Dead' Brain-Dead Move of the Week: Rick Grimes, Domestic Violence Vigilante

Every week on The Walking Dead, someone does something stupid that needlessly endangers the lives of themselves and others. Here, we commemorate those decisions in the hopes that they won’t be repeated. But of course, we know they will be.

Yes, no one actually got eaten by zombies on The Walking Dead this week. (Not even a horse!) But that doesn’t mean there weren’t plenty of stupid decisions being made. Like, why were so many people hanging around outside the Alexandria gates? GET BACK INSIDE, CARL.

But the dumbest decisions this week all belonged to Rick Grimes, who continued to think with his pants and not his head.

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You see, Rick has a thing for Jessie. And by “a thing,” we mean an unhealthy obsession that’s borderline stalking. (You can see where Carl learned it from!) Remember, Rick was ready to gun down Jessie’s husband Pete before he even knew the guy was abusive! Then once he did find out, he started slipping into Crazy Rick Grimes mode. He didn’t do a great job of hiding his feelings from Pete, either:

After he informed Deanna about his new “domestic violence is punishable by death” policy (which, admittedly, is not much worse than her “let’s ignore it and hope it’ll go away; he’s a surgeon!” policy), Rick showed up at Jessie’s garage door to make yet another awkward romantic gesture.

Jessie kept telling him “no,” but Rick kept on aggressively persisting — because that’s what women want you to do, right? And (sigh) it worked, because eventually she broke down and admitted she needed his help… just as Punchy Pete walked through the door. That led to a knockdown, drag-out, through-the-front-window fistfight that spilled out into the street. (Apparently, the makeup guy who does all the blood was feeling left out this week, so they threw him a bone.)

And after the fight, a bloody-faced Rick started waving a gun around and ranting… which is always a great way to win people over to your way of thinking.

But even Michonne was tired of hearing Rick blather on about what it takes to survive in this world. You’ve got a sweet deal here, Rick; quit screwing it up! Why don’t you sit the next few plays out… stop talking for a while?

Runners-Up: Carl and Enid, for running around making a whole bunch of noise in the woods and then, when walkers approached, hiding inside a tree trunk! They’re just lucky these particular walkers were too dumb to look inside trees… Whoever decided to put Sasha on watchtower sniper duty. Girl is the textbook definition of a loose cannon right now. Maybe don’t put her in a tower with a high-powered rifle? Just a thought.

The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on AMC.