Stephen Colbert: Russian Intelligence Are Hardcore Fans, “Followed Me Everywhere”
UPDATED with video: “Man, it is good to be back in the USA,” Stephen Colbert said on his Monday Late Show – his first original since traveling to Russia last week to shoot footage for his CBS program. While there, Colbert announced his 2020 White House bid directly to the Russian people, cutting out the middleman, he said, on a Russian late-night program.
“I don’t know if you knew I was in Russia last week. You know who did know I was in Russia? Russian intelligence. Hardcore fans, evidently. Followed me everywhere,” Colbert reported.
“Also got some attention from American intelligence. Couple guys seemed to pop up wherever we went. But it’s important to keep your eye on a comedian, while he’s in Russia, doing jokes,” Colbert acknowledged.
“I could be giving state secrets to the Russians. Oh, wait, someone’s already got that covered.”
As for his big announcement on Russian late-night TV, Colbert wanted to make clear, “all I said…was I was considering a run. If I decide to run, obviously I’m not going to ask the Russians to help my campaign. I’d have my son in law ask them.”
He thanked all the people he met in Russia, “from the government agents following us every day, to the extras from John Wick with the full sleeve of tattoos triangulating in the lobby, including one of these goons right outside my door.” He also thanked “our pharmaceutical industry for helping me sleep at night” while there.
“And, like President Trump I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of any other tapes of what I did in Russia. I did not personally make any such recordings – but I’m pretty sure my crew did. ”
Late Show will devote a week to Colbert’s Russia trip, he said, calling it “sincerely wonderful to be back in America.”
“Let’s see what everyone’s talking about here. Oh, that’s right – Russia.”
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvgTValF9CY&w=620&h=340]
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