Stephen Colbert Is Working on a 'Late Show' Theme Song (and It's Terrible)

Dave Nemetz
Updated

We’re still three months away from Stephen Colbert’s debut as the host of CBS’s Late Show, but he’s hard at work already — even cooking up a jazzy theme song all by himself. Actually, maybe he should play around with the budget a little to free up some money for songwriters.

In the video above, Colbert noodles around on the keyboard, trying out instant-classic lyrics like “What time is it? It’s late!/What show is it? It’s show!” Even though he goes out of his way to avoid anything that remotely rhymes (and his dog doesn’t seem thrilled with the results), he dutifully writes down each lyric by hand before declaring himself “done,” crossing “Theme Song” off his “Show Needs” list… and treating himself to a nice, deep sniff of his magic marker. (C’mon, he earned it.)

Video: Meet Stephen Colbert’s ‘Colbeard’ in a New ‘Late Show’ Video

Also on the “Show Needs” list (in case you can’t make it out):

* Things to say
* More things to say
* Refreshing sandwich?
* Harvest organs from clone
* Bolo tie?
* Kick Oxy!
* Get Oxy!!

And did anyone else notice the paperback copy of L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics on Colbert’s desk? Rest easy: We’re obviously in good hands here.

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert premieres Tuesday, Sept. 8 on CBS.