'SNL' Recap: Christoph Waltz is 'Jesus Unchained' (Video)

Aaron Couch
The Hollywood Reporter
'SNL' Recap: Christoph Waltz is 'Jesus Unchained' (Video)

[We will post more videos as soon as they are made available online]

Christoph Waltz was unchained during the most memorable moment from his turn as Saturday Night Live host. In a pre-recorded Jesus Unchained segment, Waltz plays a version of our Lord and Savior who isn't big on that whole "turn the other cheek" thing.

With help from SNL versions of Brad Pitt, Samuel L. Jackson and Ving Rhames characters  from various Quentin Tarantino films, Jesus gets revenge on the Romans who wanted him crucified. Christ is a mix between the lead characters of Django Unchained and the Kill Bill films.

When a Roman centurion exclaims “Jesus H. Christ” when facing his imminent death, Waltz doesn't miss a beat: “The H. is silent”

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During his opening monologue, the Oscar winner complained about all the stereotypes surrounding his Austrian heritage. Right on cue, SNL castmembers show up with their best intentionally bad Austrian/German bits. Kate McKinnon and Bobby Monahan dress like yodelers, while Taran Killam debuted “casual Hitler,” – which was Killam sporting a Hitler mustache and haircut and looking like he’s ready to relax at the country club.

We saw it coming. The cold open imagined the great lengths crew members on the disastrous Carnival cruise must have went to entertain the trip's 4,000 disgruntled passengers. Cecily Strong and Jason Sudeikis attempt to comfort the passengers, who in real life were without power and plumbing for days after a fire left their cruise shift adrift at sea.

The pair read news headlines which they think will cheer up the passengers, but the stories turn out to be rather depressing. The Pope is resigning. North Korea has nuclear weapons. And “inspiring” Olympian Oscar Pistorius has been charged in his girlfriend’s murder.

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Waltz was able to play a fellow European in a commercial for Papal Securities—a financial planning service for retired popes. It’s tough to get by on a fixed income after being one of the most influential people on the planet, but these guys have you covered.

Waltz and Fred Armisen had some great chemistry during their promos for this week's episode, so it was fitting that the castmember played the host's girlfriend. Armisen channeled the self-righteousness of his feminist bookstore owner from Portlandia to create an irritating woman that no one but Waltz liked.

“So what were you talking about before we got here? Reproductive rights?” she says upon meeting Walt’s friends.  “No. Small talk,” they say, to her disappointment.

Ted Nugent (Bill Hader) popped up during a Fox & Friends sketch to talk about attending President Barack Obama’s State of the Union address. But first, the Fox News Channel gang played a video of what Obama’s speech sounded like if played backwards: “I am a Black Panther. When this is over, I’m going to smoke weed and do hip-hop songs.”

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Nugent said it was hard to sit still during Obama’s speech.

“Partially because of what Obama was saying, and partially because my goatee is full of ticks.”

He said he was disgusted by Obama’s desire for stronger gun laws.

“Obama wants gun control, but what we really should do is take the guns out of the hands of those who are crazy,” he said (looking particularly crazy -- even by Nugent standards).

SNL is new March 2 with first-time host Kevin Hartand musical guest Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.