'SNL' Recap: As the Crowe Dies

With the Presidential primary race shifting back to her home territory of New York, you might have expected Hillary Clinton to swing by Studio 8H to receive the always-popular Saturday Night Live bump. But rather than the real Hillary, viewers were greeted by her doppelganger, Kate McKinnon, who spent the cold open trying to put the best face on what’s been a rough couple of weeks for her campaign, as her competitor, Bernie Sanders, has handed her a number of losses.

How many exactly? Is it 2? Or maybe 3? “Come to think of it, it might have been 7,” McKinnon’s Clinton said, her frozen smile almost cracking. “But enough about the past! It’s time to look forward to the future, and right now my focus is here in New York. My home state — except for Illinois and Arkansas.” She then went on to prove her “Fat Apple” bona fides, donning a Yankees cap with the price tag still stuck to the brim and just narrowly avoiding biting into street food like hot dogs and nuts. “See New Yorkers, I’m just like all of you. I never sleep, I’m in a hurry to get to work and when I’m running, I really hate it when a slow old Jew gets in my way.” Too bad that wasn’t a cue for Larry David to walk onstage…

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Speaking of frozen smiles, host Russell Crowe took the stage with a forced grin that made the famously intense Aussie actor look even grimmer than usual. The sight of the Gladiator star on a sketch comedy show might sound incongruous, and Crowe acknowledged that upfront. “I’ve starred in so many hysterical movies over the years,” he said, introducing clips of Gladiator followed by A Beautiful Mind. He also referenced his infamously tone deaf appearance in the Les Miserables movie musical saying, “Even when I do a dramatic part, people still want to laugh!” The audience tried to humor Crowe with some chuckles, but boy, that proved difficult as one sketch after another fell flat.

You gotta wonder if the writers realized in advance that they had an Australian lemon their hands: Crowe only appeared in four sketches during the course of the night, making him perhaps the least visible host since Donald Trump’s 12-minute gig last fall. He even found a way to bring down the mood at the curtain call, giving a random shout-out to John Belushi’s ghost. “Still thinking about you, man.” Maybe that’s why he forgot to be funny…

Best Sketch: “Pogie’s Pepperoni”

Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett realize their life dream of working at the Chuck E. Cheese knock-off that was their second home during childhood. Consider this a compelling illustration of why you shouldn’t necessarily choose your career path at age 6.

Worst Sketch: “Interactive Museum Experience”

A.K.A. “Sexual Harassment: The Sketch.” Playing a hologram version of the famously libidinous English king Henry VIII, Crowe channeled his inner Tracy Jordan, repeatedly expressing his creepy desire to take every woman who walked into the room behind his throne and get her pregnant. Only difference? The 30 Rock version was actually amusing.

Best Use of Russell Crowe: “Shanice Goodwin: Ninja”

It says a lot about Crowe’s flair for comedy that he was at his funniest playing a Russian gangster who gets beat up by Leslie Jones’s super-ninja/cashier from Kohl’s.

Episode MVP: Kate McKinnon

In addition to Hillary, McKinnon brought back her popular “Weekend Update” character, Deenie, the mom of somebody or other, who always makes sure to have plenty of Tupperware leftovers — in this case, Brussels sprouts (“They smell like a fart, but they actually taste like a burp!”) and imitation crab — on hand. Ostensibly there to give us her take on the finale of The People vs. O.J. Simpson, Deenie admitted to watching a porno instead due to a tuna casserole mishap.