'Scandal' Tweet-cap: Spy vs. Spy

Olivia Pope may be shutting down the official investigation into B-613 on this week’s Scandal, but she sure as hell isn’t going to let her father get away with all the atrocities he’s committed.

So, we were wrong last week when we called time of death on Jake Ballard. Dude is tough. He takes several stab wounds to the chest and gut… and survives! Then, he undergoes surgery from a shady Russian doctor… and survives! He has to recuperate next to his assassin, Russell… and survives! Guess standing in the sun gives you superpowers!

But Jake’s near-death experience, coupled with a tragic end to Olivia’s case of the week, forces her to call off David’s grand jury trial on B-613. Still, she’s not about to give up on getting justice. She is Olivia Freaking Pope. If anyone can out-Pope her dad, it’s her.

A rundown of this week’s episode …

Playing doctor

Quinn freaks out when she finds Jake bleeding all over OPA’s conference room table. She waves a gun around, nearly shoots Huck, and can barely keep her hands from shaking. The gladiators convene to debate what to do — they can’t take Jake to a hospital, or Rowan will find out about it.

So, they take him to a grimy safe house, where Charlie brings a super-shady Russian doctor. But good ol’ doc doesn’t want money as payment. He wants a favor, from the fixer, for a former KGB agent friend of his.

Meanwhile, Mellie is on the campaign trail, kissing babies and making speeches. But her words about how being First Lady isn’t really a job, thus won’t interfere with being senator, doesn’t sit right with one Sally Langston. Sally uses her TV show pulpit to criticize Mellie for the conflict of interest — a senator sleeping with the president? How unethical! And maybe kind of illegal?

Liv and Huck go to the KGB agent’s house, where they discover that the operative is a grandmother named Mary Peterson. She used to be an ace sniper, but it’s been over 20 years since she last had a handler. Now, she just bakes cookies — except that she got a new mission just yesterday (you know, Putin).

Mary doesn’t want to be part of this whole thing anymore, but she can’t ignore the summons to meet her handler. Liv promises to take care of it.

Back at the White House, they’re trying to figure out if it is, in fact, illegal to be First Lady and senator at the same time, so Abby calls David. Now, David is in the grimy safehouse with Jake being operated on at the same time. He’s not in a good frame of mind. But he still agrees to call into some talk shows to assert that Mellie’s bid is on the up-and-up.

He’s also wondering when they can all get back to the normal lives, since that B-613 grand jury hearing starts soon. Quinn informs him that they need to lay low for a few days, or Rowan might kill them. Yikes!

The more pressing matter is that Jake needs surgery, which requires blood. OK, no prob, Quinn says, and goes to get blood. Wham, bam, thank you m’am. Girl is in super-efficient mode right now.

Russian roulette

Liv and Huck track down Mary’s Russian handler, who works at a butcher shop. They try to bribe him, but no dice.

Elsewhere, Rowan and Russell meet to discuss Jake’s death. Er, near-death. Rowan rolls his eyes and informs Russell that if Jake were dead, he would’ve gotten a very angry phone call from his daughter. Now, all the gladiators have gone underground and can’t be tracked, so Rowan shoots Russell in the arm. That’s one way to draw Liv out.

At the White House, the team is in a panic because Mellie’s poll numbers are dropping after Sally’s on-air attack. Abby suggests sending someone on the show to refute the conflict of interest charges, but it should be a man. Fitz — practically twirling a mustache — suggests Cyrus.

Cyrus is apoplectic. Absolutely not! He doesn’t even believe in Mellie’s campaign, he certainly isn’t going to go on Sally’s show to defend it. But Fitz, angrier than we’ve ever seen him, orders him to do it. End of discussion.

So, Cy goes on the show. And it is a pleasure to watch him and Sally spar. He slyly charges her with sexism, arguing that Mellie isn’t paid to be First Lady. Oh, but there are perks, Sally points out, like fried chicken (which is a really nice perk). “Are you being paid in fried chicken, Sally?” Cy laughs. Best line of the night!

Sally tries to turn it around by saying Cy is just jealous because he’s the better candidate for senator. But Cy has the last word when he asks what would’ve happened if Sally had won the presidency — would she have forbidden her dead husband, Daniel Douglas, from working outside the White House?

Game. Set. Match. Cyrus Beene.

Olivia learns about Russell’s shooting and rushes off to the hospital, with Huck in tow, to see him. This is just the last straw; they need to stop Rowan’s rampage right now. So, she goes to the Russian butcher guy and makes a deal: If they let Mary stay retired, she’ll give him the name and phone number of B-613’s Command, her father. Way to kill two birds with one stone, Liv!

Liv takes Russell back to the safehouse, where Jake is out of surgery. The doc gives him stern orders not to move and to rest, or else he’ll damage his chances of surgery. But when Jake looks over at the next table, he sees Russell. You know, the guy who tried to kill him!

Russell sneaks over, grabs a scalpel, and is about to gut Jake again, but Jake manages to convulse enough to get everyone else’s attention. Russell plays it off, and Jake is subdued. But more importantly, Russell overhears some key information — that Liv gave the Russians the info to track down Rowan.

Conflict of interest

At the White House, the news is not good — Mellie’s poll numbers are still down, and worse, Fitz’s approval rating is going down, too. Cy is not happy. What can they do about this election? Lizzie has a very controversial suggestion: Leak gossip that Mellie and Fitz’s marriage is over. That’ll take care of the conflict of interest issue. Mellie refuses, though. She and Fitz are a team. End of discussion.

Later, Fitz calls Olivia, seeking advice about the whole situation. She advises him to worry about his own presidency, but Fitz is a changed man — he wants to do right by Mellie, as much as possible. So, she gives him the plan: Embrace the conflict of interest. Forget national polls and approval ratings. All Mellie needs to do is win over Virginia voters by emphasizing how much she can do for them, since she sleeps with the president.

Liv sits with Jake, apologizing for what’s happened to him after all the times he’s saved her life. Just then, Huck comes in. The Russian butcher is missing. Uh-oh.

When Olivia goes to Mary’s house to check in, she stumbles into a horrific scene — Mary and her grandkids are all dead. And the Russian handler is dead in her own car trunk. A cell phone rings from inside the trunk. It’s Rowan, of course.

“Against me, you’ll never win,” her father says.

With that, Olivia is throwing in the towel. She tells David to shut down the investigation. He argues, at first, but his support is winnowing — Charlie won’t testify, Quinn wasn’t in B-613 long enough, and Huck’s confession won’t be enough. And it isn’t worth getting them all killed. The gladiators agree to give up on the fight.

Liv takes Russell home and begins to seduce him in bed. But when he closes his eyes, she puts a gun to his head. Oh, she’s figured out that he was the mole who told her father about the Russians. He tried to kill Jake. And she’s going to use him to get the justice from her father.

“This is definitely going to hurt,” Liv snarls.

Scandal airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on ABC.