Who Were the Worst Reality TV Stars This Week?
There's a special seat in hell reserved for the person who "wrote" and conceived the "For the Right Reasons" video on "The Bachelorette" and forced us to listen to Des and her bevy of boys attempt to rap, but that nameless person (perhaps Souljah Boy, perhaps some deluded producer) will be left off the list because there were far too many reality stars for us to hate on this week.
Christian ("72 Hours")
This charming misogynist immediately endeared himself to us by saying that his two female teammates would be nothing but a distraction to his horndog self, and by letting us know that all women are ignorant and then by reciting his known fact that men's brains are bigger. Too bad he couldn't use that giant brain to figure out how to light a fire.
Tori ("Toddlers & Tiaras")
The super muscle-bound judgmental dad who showed up in his underwear and didn't want to give his daughter unhealthy food like pizza, but hypocritically let his girlfriend give her soda (or maybe Red Bull) in the bathroom so that she could perform and spent his time talking about all the fat moms, was a horrible human. But then there was Tori, mom to 2-year-old Alexa. She gives her daughter a cup of coffee daily (not just on pageant days) for energy and claims that it is doctor-approved. I'd like to see that person's medical degree. She also regularly gives the kid this horrifying concoction called Tinker Tea, which is a combination of soda, sweet tea, and Pixy Stix. The scariest part is that she says it's okay because the girl "hardly ever drinks juice, and that's 98 percent sugar anyways." As if soda, sweet tea, and Pixy Stix don't have any sugar at all.
Nia ("The Real World")
We were on her side for a hot minute. She stepped in a big wet pile of Daisy poop (the dog that belongs to Averey, and by association, Johnny) and was mad and refused to clean it up. We saw her point: While she plays with the dog on the regular, it's still not her pet. She could have been a decent person and cleaned it, but she's not. Still, she lost us when she just flew off the handle, started baiting Johnny to fight her, and then got in a fistfight with Averey, which was very physical and quite horrible. And we thought she was done after they'd screamed and were separated. But then out of nowhere, Nia just ran into the bathroom and punched Averey in the back of the head. And had a big old smile on her face while doing it.
Emily ("Pretty Wicked Moms")
This woman invites all of her friends to her store for a mom's-night-out party, and then gets bitchy to the cameras when they don't buy anything or hand over their credit cards for her to put on file. And she didn't even care that a guest got bit by her friend Nicole's dog. (See, Nicole doesn't have a child, just a puppy, and gets angry when people don't see her as a mother.) But the real shocker for us came when Emily revealed not only that her daughter sleeps in her bed, but that when the kid is sleeping, she has sex with her husband — in that same bed. It's hard to surprise us after all these seasons of reality television, but these people keep finding ways.
Ashlee ("Princesses: Long Island")
She made a poor man at the salon give her a piggyback ride to her car because she can't possibly be expected to walk in flats. Then she freaked out because she was in a suburban neighborhood that was slightly less nice than hers and had to call her dad because she was afraid she would be murdered. Then she bullied a store owner into opening during a blackout because she couldn't possibly not shop and started crying during the middle of a fight that had absolutely nothing to do with her. This sensitive soul just couldn't handle the hardship of people bickering around her.