Vikings Season 3 Finale Review: How Do You Say "Psych!" in French?

Vikings S03E10: "The Dead"

One of the great things about Vikings is that it's steeped in real-world events, with one major caveat: Since it's a historical drama, there's a clear path it must follow in order to stay true to occurrences that've been documented by historians who've put their life's work into recounting what happened centuries ago, back before everyone videoed everything and uploaded clips to YouTube. But Vikings gets to add dramatic flourishes to its narrative because a lot of the actual "history" of the Vikings is based on legend and whispers. We don't even know if Ragnar Lothbrok ever existed or was merely the star of a fairy tale Viking moms told their kids so to get them to eat their vegetables and goat hooves.

Still, there are plenty of Vikings spoilers floating around out there, in mythology books and on Wikipedia. And so I've made an effort to not "read ahead," looking up as little information as possible about Ragnar Lothbrok. "The less I know, the better," I say! That's why I was entirely fooled by Ragnar's fake death in the Season 3 finale, "The Dead," an emotional roller coaster that left my mind zigging, zagging, and thoroughly entertained.

I completely believed Ragnar was dead from the wounds he suffered while tumbling off the Parisian walls, and I was crushed. After momentarily praising Vikings for sticking to what I thought was a historical blueprint, I muttered a string of expletives and began to mentally formulate a rant for this review in which I'd beg series creator Michael Hirst to ditch historical accuracy and write his own version, one in which Ragnar lived and flattened castles forever. But Ragnar's Trojan horse jack-in-the-box scheme—which led to him springing out of his casket after the French agreed to give him a Christian burial—changed all that, sending "The Dead" in an entirely new direction. It might not have been the tightest or foolproof of plans; apparently no one thought to check Ragnar's vitals, and only Bjorn was in on the ruse. But it was a whole lot better than Ragnar dying.

Instead, Ragnar—following his big push into Christianity—leapt out of his death box and sliced open the throat of King Charles' bishop, a move that may be more telling than his subsequent knifepoint threat to Charles and Princess Gisla. What was the point of Ragnar murdering the holy man if he was desperately hoping to be admitted into heaven and reunited with Athelstan once his time does come? Surely that has to be negative points in God's eyes. I suppose he might've been upset with the bishop for shaming him when Ragnar asked for the holy bath of baptism, but I'm pretty sure Jesus said some stuff about turning the other cheek, so maybe a few Sunday school classes are in order for Ragnar. The character's fascination with Christianity has been one of the more compelling components of Season 3 (and prior seasons as well), but I'm starting to wonder where it's all headed.

I've always respected Ragnar because he's usually a man of his word; however, that's why his deception of the French was peculiar. It also came at the very end of the season, leaving us to wonder who Ragnar really is. Is he a Christian? Is he an honorable king? Or do we throw all that out the window in the face of his murder of a holy figure and his order to squeeze in one last raid on Paris even after he was paid to leave just because he's a Viking? Ragnar told Bjorn that when Bjorn becomes a leader, he'll need to lead with his head, not his heart. But Ragnar seemed to be following his heart, which was full of anger.

And that anger may be rooted in Athelstan's death. Our parting gift from Season 3 was a bucket of gasoline on the fire of Ragnar's love for his dearly departed friend. As the Vikings sailed home from France, Ragnar called Floki over and revealed, "I know you killed Athelstan." We've always suspected that Ragnar knew the truth, but seeing it confirmed—and witnessing Floki's reaction—was a chilling way to say goodbye to Season 3. We have to assume that Ragnar heard everything Floki said to him while he was in the coffin, and even though Floki didn't confess outright, he was clearly pained by Ragnar's affection for Athelstan even after Ragnar was gone. Now was the time for Ragnar to say, "Dude, I know what you did." And Season 4 had better be the time for something big to grow out of a relationship tainted by jealousy and betrayal, because I can't handle anymore simmering.

Of course, "The Dead" wasn't all about Ragnar faking his own death. Rollo enjoyed a nice, meaty story, and that's good because his character needed it. He deserves to be more than Vikings' most imposing shirtless figure, and now he's caught between Ragnar and King Charles. Rollo decided to stay behind in France at Ragnar's request, likely to remind the French they're being watched. But the French used Rollo's presence to their advantage and Charles the Simple concocted a plan: If you can't beat them, let them join you. He offered Princess Gisla's hand in marriage to Rollo, which gifted us this lovely exchange and reminded us of why screencaps were invented:

Ahhh, the international language of love! Those two will be knocking boots in no time, methinks. But seriously, props to Rollo for learning how to say "hello" in French. It was such a sweet sentiment, and his grin at the end absolutely slayed me. I don't blame Rollo for at least considering Charles' offer of the title of duke and some land in exchange for Rollo siding with the French. I have my doubts that he'll actually defend Paris against Ragnar when the spring rolls around, but marriages in those days were more about brokering peace, weren't they? Ragnar's already had his nibbles of Paris, so why wouldn't Charles do like the British kings and employ Ragnar and his men to help him rid the land of his competitors, including his brothers who hate him? Whatever the case may be, I need to see more of Rollo and Gisla as soon as possible. That's going to be a lot of fun.

"The Dead" was an odd finale that wrapped up Ragnar's raid on Paris while also planting the seeds for more French interaction in the future. While there are a few lingering story threads that may go unresolved forever—like Ragnar's Christianity or his beef with Floki—the historical-based plots are wide open, with both France and England in the mix and plenty of trouble back home. Overall, Vikings closed out Season 3 in a very nice position for Season 4.

NOTES FROM ODIN

– Yo Count Odo, what's with all the BDSM? Gisla rejected his advances, but another comely woman was ready to do whatever she needed to earn his affection. Including getting flogged to satisfy Odo's kinks.

– Vikings is sometimes compared to Sons of Anarchy, and Ragnar's fake-death plan was straight outta Jax's playbook.

– I love Princess Gisla's continued anger over her father not stepping up to be a man. Someone make her ruler!

– No Ecbert in the finale! That's slightly disappointing, but then again, the British didn't really need to be part of the episode.

– Was that a Viking Snuggie that Lagertha was wearing when she checked in on Ragnar?

– Floki to Ragnar's coffin: "I hate you Ragnar Lothbrok, and I love you with all my heart. Why do you tear me away from myself?" Awww, poor Floki.

– I've heard rumblings of dissatisfaction from some viewers this season, but I thought it was another solid outing for this under-the-radar drama. No complaints here.