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True Blood Episode Recap: "Let's Boot and Rally"

Anna Paquin | Photo Credits: John P. Johnson/HBOAnna Paquin | Photo Credits: John P. Johnson/HBO

"Boot and rally" is a disturbing term I learned in the halcyon days of the early 1990s when I started drinking alcohol in varying quantities as a dumb-assed college freshman. Essentially, it's the process of puking, either naturally or by force, which — in theory! — makes you feel less drunk, so you can then drink more! It's not a sound strategy, and one that I (hand to God) never employed personally. But I did witness it, and it was as wrong-looking as it sounds.

So how does this apply to this week's episode of True Blood? Read on to find out.



Just as Sookie is going to get her chance to howl at the moon with Alcide, Bill and Eric barge in, which is as good an emetic as any for Sookie, who ralphs all over her bedroom floor. Bill and Eric need her help in locating Russell, particularly now that cute Tina Majorino has told them that they are going to die via iStake at sunrise. Sookie uses her telepathy to read the mind of the construction worker who purportedly witnessed Russell's unearthing. She discovers that a woman wearing an Authority pendant (Nora? Barb from Cougar Town? Nah, I'm betting on Salome) actually freed Russell and brought him to a safehouse to feed and regain his strength. Eventually, Sookie & Co. make it there as well, and Russell is pleased, or at least amused, to see the old gang. But before they can stake him and get it over with, there's a scuffle in the background and Alcide disappears.



Eller is clearly a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket, but perhaps justifiably so. Through flashbacks and Eller's narration, we learn that one of the civilians that Terry & Co. killed in Iraq put a curse on the soldiers — that a so-called Ifrit, a kind of fire monster, would burn everything and everyone that they cared about. Hence, the fires. At first, Terry and Patrick are like: Uh, yeah, OK, dude, we're going to mosey, but then Terry remembers that he saw the Ifrit at the scene of the crime, so he knows it's real. They beat feet out of Eller's compound, narrowly escaping the arrival of said fire monster, who does away with Eller in short order. Key question here: Do we care?



While Jason and Andy investigate the deaths of Sam and Luna's shifter friends and fret about their fraught evening with the faeries, Sam and Luna have bigger fish to fry. It seems a band of masked rednecks is making the rounds, shooting shifters, and Sam and Luna are next on their list. My first thought is that these are disgruntled werewolves, who still hold Sam responsible for Markus' death, but something about the group that attacked — and shot — Sam and Luna dissuaded me of this notion. Fortunately, adorable cub Emma transformed, jettisoned her PJs and ran off into the woods before she too might be shot. Surely, Sam and Luna aren't dead, but so then where exactly are we going with this story line?



OK, so my first thought was: Adorbs! Tara and Jessica are going to be vampire BFFs! But while such a cutesy scenario might be well within Jessica's wheelhouse, Tara isn't exactly the braid-your-hair-have-a-pillow-fight-and-drain-a-human-together type, so I knew this union was short-lived. Indeed, while Jessica is feeding on a fangbanger in one bathroom stall at Fangtasia, she catches wind of Hoyt — who now looks like an extra from a Cure video — getting bled next door. And whose fangs is he indulging? Tara's! That bitch! I'm never a huge fan of girl-on-girl crime on TV, as I think it betrays a particular brand of sexism of the male-dominated world of TV production, but in this case I will allow it. Tara was always ready to rumble, vampire or not, so I am looking forward to this girl-vamp-fight.



-Tara's vampire wardrobe rivals Pam's in hotness, no? And how perfect is it that she can still be a bartender!

-"NYC smells like pee and the people are rude," says Eric. I beg your pardon, Mr. Northman!

-I find Jason's quest to find his parents' vampire killers to be a fascinating one, particularly because I think it means his faerie story might get folded into Sookie's vampire plotline. Fewer stories = happier recapper.

What did you think of "Let's Boot and Rally"? More importantly, have you ever booted and rallied?