The Nine Worst Splashes of 'Splash'

Robert Chan
·Writer

Whether you tuned in to see the triumph of the human spirit or to share in some good old-fashioned celebrity schadenfreude, "Splash" had you covered. In honor of its season finale this week, here's a look back at some of the show's worst dives.

9. Celebrities like Nicole Eggert shouldn't be high-diving for the same reason a 12-year-old shouldn't fly a plane: It takes years of training, no matter what Greg Louganis (or all those airplane-disaster movies from the '70s) say. The best you can hope for is just to be humiliated:

[Related: Nicole Eggert on Her 'Splash' Accident Photo: 'I Probably Shouldn't Have Posted It']

8. You will, no doubt, recognize this most traditional of dives by soccer player Brandi Chastain -- the one and a half somersault with a sit:

7. Braver than Louie Anderson diving blind off a 10-foot board: soldiers, firefighters, some very small dogs, nobody else.

[Related: Louie Anderson Keeps Head High After 'Splash' Elimination]

6. At least some contestants made the most of their time on the show. Chuy Bravo is seen here auditioning for the role of Peter Pan. Watch your back, Cathy Rigby.

5. The average diver is a foot and a half shorter than Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. So let's try to remember him as a six-time NBA Most Valuable Player, perfector of the sky-hook, and not, well ... this:

4. Did we mention his six NBA championships?

3. It couldn't possibly get any worse for Katherine Webb than stumbling off a diving board in front of millions of people watching on TV, right? How about if your mother's poolside?

2. If you don't watch pro wrestling, you can be forgiven for not knowing what this next thing is called. It's a crucifix powerbomb, and it's something you only do if you're a muscle-bound dude with a beard, and you do it only to other muscle-bound dudes (beard optional).

Drake Bell, take note: You do not do it to a 115-lb. Miss Alabama, and you certainly don't do it from a height that would make the guy who jumped out of a balloon from low Earth orbit pass out in his spacesuit.

[Related: Miss Alabama Katherine Webb Predicts 'Splash' Winner]

1. The next time you forget your neighbor's name on the street, burp in an elevator, or find out your parents are chaperoning your prom, know that your embarrassment will never, ever, ever compare to Eggert's attempt at a handstand dive:

Ever.

The season finale of "Splash" airs Tuesday, 5/7 at 8 PM on ABC.