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Shawn Stockman's 'Sing-Off' Blog: Balancing Work & Family

Shawn Stockman of Boyz ll Men attends the 137th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs inin Louisville, Kentucky, on May 7, 2011 -- Getty PremiumShawn Stockman of Boyz ll Men attends the 137th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs inin Louisville, Kentucky, on May 7, 2011 -- Getty Premium

My life has been a roller coaster these days! This is the most busy, most hectic, and most emotional I have ever been!

As much as I love being a judge on the show, it can wear me down sometimes to know that a group that you know works hard and has the potential of being something great, has to leave because, well, it wasn't as great as it needed to be to stay in the race.

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Deliberations are tough, and between Ben, Sara and myself, we can really feel the pressure. But it's part of what gives the show it's "reality."

Nonetheless, it is not easy, and after shows like that, it takes a bit longer for me to get to sleep.

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But when I wake, I have a new set of emotions I have to deal with, and that's with being a daddy and a husband! Every morning, I wake up, I drag my butt into the kitchen and start breakfast and make lunches for my 8-year-old twin boys, Ty and Micah, while my wife gets them clean and dressed for school.

My one son, Ty, is always bubbly, funny and almost always starts the morning off with having in depth conversations with me about about Pokemon and who are his favorites. My other son sometimes walks past me and doesn't say a word. He has autism. So I have to stop him and look him in the face and say "Good morning." It takes him a moment sometimes, but then he flashes his beautiful smile and says "Good morning."

This is something my wife and I have been dealing with since he was diagnosed when he was 1. You never think when you're about to have a child, or in our case twins, that anything would be wrong with them. So you can imagine the pain, struggle, guilt of feeling like YOU did something wrong, the heartbreak, and tension between my wife and I during the first few years.

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Micah, with an intense schedule of Occupational, Behavioral and Speech therapists, thankfully is getting better, but we still have a long way to go. Because of our empathy for parents who have kids with autism, my wife and I along with my group's non-profit organization called "The Boyz II Men House," created "Micah's Voice" which supports parents with information, and funding for their kids with autism.

Besides that, and also taking care of our 20-month-old daughter Brooklyn, I've been working on my group's first original album in 10 years due out in the United States on October 25!

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This album marks our 20 years in the music business, thus the title of the album "TWENTY"!

Here's an example of just another day in the life of a singer/ judge on a hit TV show: During one of the tapings of "The Sing-Off," which ends pretty late, I was rushed off to LAX to catch a midnight flight to Xi'an, China, a 20-hour flight I might add, for a performance with my group in front of 40,000 people. I landed the same day of the show, just enough time to shower and take a little nap, and then I'm off to meet the rest of my group members to do our concert! Next day, I'm on the plane again to fly back to LA only to be there for approximately three hours before I have to catch another flight to Philly to do an appearance on the Rachael Ray show. After that, I fly back to LA to finish up mixes and final touches on the new album.

All of this in the midst of homework, school plays, non-profit organizing and still trying to find time to take my wife on an occasional movie and lunch date to keep some romantic connection intact!

Just another day at the office!

But in the midst of my personal dealings, whether good or bad, I realize that God has placed every one of them there for me to learn, develop and become someone greater than I ever imagined I would be! There are no such things as accidents, and whatever happened was supposed to happen. Our job on this earth is to discover the reason! I guess getting older and wiser allows you peace of mind with such truth. Outside of my life as a judge and an entertainer, I have found an even broader and equally fulfilling purpose with my wife and children! And for that, I would not change one thing!

Thanks for listening guys. Holla later!

-SHAWN

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