Mistresses Season 2 Finale Recap: Bride Goeth Before a Fall
Warning: If you have yet to watch the Mistresses Season 2 finale, please skip this recap and head to another TVLine story. Everyone else, dive right in — the water is perfect!
Her long white gown flutters in the Pacific Ocean breeze. She runs to him, reckless and breathless, and God (or perhaps a really astute stylist) intervenes, making his tattered old t-shirt magically disappear, revealing a torso smoother and sturdier than the Quartz kitchen countertop of your home-design fantasies.
Suddenly, she is astride him — their lips locked, their hands intertwined, her hair looking like it’s ready for a starring role in an Herbal Essences commercial. The soundtrack swells. And then, as cruelly as the suns rays taunt her sinewy limbs when she forgets to slather them in SPF, the thought pops into her brain: “This dude was with my sister — in a Brad and Angelina on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith type of way — for like 15 years.”
And as much as you might want all the pretty to keep on intertwining, as much as you might’ve been hoping for a Deborah Kerr-Burt Lancaster moment, you pause and ask yourself: Is this really a good idea?
There you have it: The central conundrum (though certainly not the only conundrum) of Mistresses‘ Season 2 finale. Without any further delay — we’re not Savi slowly trundling down that staircase to the beach, are we? — let’s recap the action for each of our central ladies, posing key questions (and holding firm to the belief that there will indeed be a Season 3)!
KAREN | Karen simply cannot catch a break: Not only does she have to listen to a Muzak version of “This Is It” on hold at her doctor’s office, but then the nurse comes back on the line and is all, “Oh, you need to come in and retake your HIV test because the first blood sample got contaminated.” Nurse, pleeeeease! I mean, Karen’s still trying to scrub Sam Grey’s blood stains out of her memory bank (and her ice-blue chaise lounge): She does not have time for this kind of foolery. Slipping into a spiral, Karen goes to her hot hookup Ben’s house, slaps him across the face, and then admits, “Everything I’ve done to find love, everything I touch, it all ends in death.” The next morning, she is the human embodiment of the “where does depression hurt?” pharmaceutical ads, blank-eyed on the couch, empty wine bottles all around her, possibly… contemplating suicide? But before she can make a rash decision, the phone rings, and it’s bubbly patient Anna, who shares something profound: “You saved my life — more times than you know.” It’s almost as if the Psychiatrist Formerly Known as Dr. Kim has been touched by an angel, and the knowledge that she’s had a profound positive impact in the world lifts her spirits. She heads to Joss’ engagement party and then gets an inconvenient call from her own M.D.: “You’re HIV-negative, but something else came up…” Could it be… Satan? (I kid! I kid!) Our hapless gal is probably/possibly preggers. Should we call Child Protective Services now, or give old girl the benefit of the doubt?
Key Questions: I know the Anna storyline is seemingly resolved and that we’re leaving Karen in a happier place, but is anyone else bummed we didn’t get a cray-cray Single Asian Female story arc? Also: Raise your hand if you miss Elizabeth “In! My! Hand!” Grey? I guess that’s my way of saying that if this is the Series Finale — I’m glad Karen has found some peace of mind. But if we get a Season 3 — don’t give us a pregnancy. Give us something else that will set us off on an entirely new course of crazy!
APRIL | April discovers during her final (and kinda victorious) meeting with the FBI that Daniel got fired from his job with the bureau. (Side note: Despite him being officially done with Savi, perhaps our ladies should keep Dom on retainer — seeing how their legal woes seem as reliable as the candle section at Maison Sue Mer, no?) Speaking of Daniel, however, he shows up at our home-furnishing goddess’s door and warns her that, because the FBI is no longer working with her, “April, you in danger, girl!” (He says it sexier, because he’s played by Ricky Whittle, OBVS.) They take adorable Lucy and retreat to a secluded cabin in the woods. After Lucy goes to sleep, April unbuttons her salmon silk pajamas and Daniel whips out his glock (definitely a euphemism). Cue Anita Baker’s “Sweet Love” — at least until morning, when somebody at FBI HQ lets Daniel know that April’s ne’er-do-well ex Paul has finally wound up dead (and that his dangerous drug-dealer nemesis bit the bullet — literally — as well). At Joss’ engagement party, April expresses her guilt about not letting Lucy in on the secret about her presumed-dead dad, but Karen (at last!) offers good counsel: “She’s a happy kid with a beautiful memory of her father that’s in tact.” In other words, count your blessings while you count whether Daniel’s got an eight-pack or a twelve-pack, sister! Just when April looks poised for Happily Ever After, though, Lucy sees a report on the local TV news — for once, not running a “dangers in your medicine cabinet” segment — and learns that Daddy Dearest wasn’t dead all these years, but is actually dead-dead now. And she’s furious with April for keeping it on the down-low. Oh noooooo!
Key Questions: Is there any saving April-Daniel? If not, is there any way we can have a Web series featuring Daniel doing “abstract acryllic painting on a body-sized canvas” for 13 episodes per summer? It can be solo work, with male subjects, with female subjects, I don’t care. Just make sure he starts in a Henley and ends with his second-to-none “brushwork.” (I don’t even know what that last sentence means, to be honest, and yes, I apologize.)