Monday, February 11
Watch: If you missed Julian Assange on the first airing, catch him on the rerun of "Real Time With Bill Maher." Ever wondered what different cuts of meat mean? Mario's breaking it down on "The Chew," and Carl Reiner's schooling Kimmel (and fellow guest Mindy Kaling) on comedy. (We assume. Carl Reiner is awesome.) Also awesome: Fallon's random guest combo of Carmelo Anthony and John Goodman.
Skip: If David Spade isn't your thing -- and he isn't ours, "Tommy Boy" aside -- avoid "Ellen DeGeneres" today.
Tuesday, February 12
Watch: Shay Mitchell tells some "Pretty Little" lies on "Nikki & Sara Live." "The Chew" takes Fat Tuesday verrrrrry seriously with jambalaya recipes and a visit to New Orleans's premiere king-cake baker. Cissy Houston is talking about Whitney on "The View" (and since Whitney's daughter is on record as saying Cissy's book is BS, you might see some fireworks there). And we can only hope Charles Barkley lends Jewel some backing vocals on Leno.
Skip: Diablo Cody and Jenny McCarthy on "Chelsea Lately" is just kind of too much self-satisfaction for us on one set.
Wednesday, February 13
Watch: Reverend Run is answering relationship questions on "The Rachael Ray Show." (Why not, right?) And here's a tip we can pass along from watching waaaaay too much true-crime TV: Lester Holt is a really good host, and he's on Leno. Will the Russell "Get Him to the Greek" Brand/Allison "Girls" Williams random guest combo on Craig Ferguson blow up, or fizzle? Only one way to find out -- unless you're too busy watching Sarah Jessica Parker on Fallon, trying to explain why Carrie Bradshaw is so much more likable on "The Carrie Diaries" than she was on "S&TC." (And we liked that show!)
Skip: Remember when James Franco was everywhere? Yeah, it was that long ago; we don't miss him yet, so we'll be bagging Kimmel tonight.
Thursday, February 14
Watch: If you're anti-Valentine's, "The Jeremy Kyle Show" is just the unromantic thing: "The Wedding Is Off, My Fiancee Is Cheating" is today's theme. Maybe you just don't know what to get your honey; Clinton Kelly's here to help with Valentine's-gift dos and don'ts on "The Chew." "The Talk" is reuniting famous TV couples -- including Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross, the senior Keatons on "Family Ties" -- and "The View" has a Valentine for you in random-guest-combo form: co-host and Atlanta Real Housewife Nene Leakes and Helen "Mad About You" Hunt.
Skip: We read Craig Ferguson's guests, George Lopez and Sutton Foster, as "George Foster." But it isn't the Big Red Machine's home-run hitter, so we don't care as much. Non-baseball fans may proceed.
Friday, February 15
Watch: Not everyone likes Katherine Heigl, but almost everyone loves puppies, and she's bringing some along to "The Rachael Ray Show." Almost everyone enjoys William Shatner, too, and he's on "The Talk." (We hope he yells "KHHHHAAAAAAAAN!!!") And the random guest combo to wrap up the week is Josh "The Good Wife" Charles and Joan Rivers on Fallon.
Skip: Snooki and JWoww on "Live With Kelly & Michael," because please go away for a little while.
Remember when Mallory introduced Nick to the fam on "Family Ties"? Relive it right here: