Glee Recap: Wedding Belle Blues [Updated]

“Emma’s left the building.” And yet that at-the-altar announcement by ice-cold Sue Sylvester was only the tip of the iceberg on an action-packed episode of Glee that kept the “Say what now?” surprises coming right down to the very final scene.

Oh yes, folks, “I Do” contained the following eyebrow-raising plot developments:

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* Emma, reeling from the pressure of planning her wedding all alone while Will was in Washington, DC with his blasted blue-ribbon panel, got the coldest of cold feet, delivered an incredible rendition of “(Not) Getting Married Today” and fled the church via putrid green taxi. (Am I the only one who finds Jayma Mays’ musical numbers to be consistently awesome and wishes there were more of ‘em?)

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* Mr. Schue took the rejection hard — especially since he felt like his absence was the catalyst for the cataclysmic event. But best man Finn — still feeling guilty about kissing the bride 10 days before her big day — helped rally his former teacher/current bestie and made him realize he needs to go out into the world, club his woman over the head and drag her back to the cave (so to speak). Here’s hoping, though, that Finn heeds Rachel’s advice and never mentions the kiss to Schue. As the Lady Berry noted, dude always dreamed of being an actor: “Here’s your chance to play the role of the supportive best man.” Oh snap! (Side note: How hot did Finn look in that wooly brown sweater during his chat with Will in the teacher’s lounge?)

* Under the “What Happens at the Reception Stays at the Reception (Even if It’s No Longer Really a Reception)” Clause, we got hookups between Rachel and Finn, Kurt and Blaine, Quinn and Santana, Artie and Emma’s niece Betty (The Glee Project‘s very cool Ali Stroker), but not for Jake and Marley. Final score: Wah-chicka-wah-waah, 4; Chastity, 1. While Quinn labeled her sapphic awakening as a one-off (okay, make it a two-off) and Kurt tried to play it casual, it was clear where Finn stood on the matter of his future with Rachel: “We are endgame. I know that, and you know that,” he said with mix of optimism and steely resolve. It was as if Glee‘s writers were shouting to the show’s core fans, “Don’t worry — we’ll get these crazy kids back together, but you might have to be patient!” Interestingly, it was Rachel who plucked the final affirmative petal off Finn’s “she loves me, she loves me not” flower. Talk about saying it with flowers. Grrrrl!

* Mercedes and Mike attended the wedding, too, though I’ve got to question why. Mercedes sang a couple lines of music and dropped a bon mot about needing her “arm gays,” while Mike didn’t get to speak at all. Why bother, really? Just to tell fans that they’re still part of the cast? Tina, meanwhile, finally dropped her crush on Blaine — and not a second too soon, I might add!

* In underclassman news, Ryder played Cyrano de Bergerac and helped Jake give Marley a first-rate Valentine’s Week, while clearly pining for her the whole time. But when Jake noted he thought her was “so getting laid” after the reception, Ryder was aghast and insisted Marley wasn’t ready for the full Puckerman. Later, Marley told Ryder she knew he was behind all the Valentine’s romance, and after she sweetly thanked him, he planted a kiss on her lips right there in the McKinley hallway. Triangle alert. Dunn dunn dunnnn!

* Back at home in NYC, it appears that Brody might be paying for his college tuition via the world’s oldest profession. What other reason would he be exiting hotel rooms with copious amounts of cash in his hands? This isn’t going to end well, is it? Burning question: Is Brody’s clientele male, female, or a little of both?

* Oh, and hold on to your wedding hats, ladies and gents, but Rachel might be pregnant. Or so said her day planner. And maybe that home pregnancy test she was taking in her bathroom. The look on her face wasn’t exactly Tony the Tiger trumpeting “I just got some grrrrrrrreat news!” Still, for a girl who’s all about the Sex and the City dream right now, shouldn’t she have invested in a box of condoms?

Musical Performance Grades
Jake and Marley, “You’re All I Need to Get By” | Didn’t Will commit to being a better teacher when he switched from Spanish to History? And yet he allows kids to interrupt class for moony serenades? I just couldn’t get past the ridiculousness. Grade: C+

Emma (and Will and selected guests), “(Not) Getting Married Today” | Jayma Mays hasn’t had much screen time in Season 4, but she’s made every line count. Her panic during this frantically paced number was totally palpable. And dang, her voice is pretty great, too. Grade: A

Kurt and Blaine, “I Just Can’t Get Enough” | Cute reception-hall fun. Grade: B+

Finn and Rachel, “We’ve Got Tonight” | I love when Glee manages to interweave its music with its story arcs, and this was a great example, with Finchel providing a sublime soundtrack to the various hotel-room seductions and shenanigans that followed the wedding fiasco. Great stuff! Grade: A

Marley, Artie, Jake and New Directions, “Anything Could Happen” | I dug the loose, spirited choreography, but given that Marley and Jake already had a prior musical number, I’d have rather had this be an Artie-Betty duet, or maybe even Tina-Kurt! Grade: B+

Episode’s Best Zingers
“Al Roker’s disgusting, by the way.” –Santana, responding to Quinn’s comment that Schue and the Today weather dude were the only decent men alive

This exchange, delivered mid-backseat-makeout session…
Blaine: This is just bros helping bros.
Kurt: I love when you talk fratty.

“You’re a weird bird lady with a hollow pelvis and OCD, and Will Schuster is a weepy man-child whose greatest joy in life is singing with children. And his best friend is 19.” –Sue, giving Emma additional reasons not to go through with the wedding

On that bitter note, I turn things over to you. What did you think of “I Do”? Did you (like me) think this was yet another incredible week for Jayma Mays? What do you make of Rachel’s possible bun in the oven? How about that speech from Finn? And what about the week’s other hookups? Sound off in the comments!

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