Glee Recap: Hawkins-Like Vision [Updated]
Glee Recap: Hawkins-Like Vision [Updated]
“Sadie Hawkins is a metaphor for empowerment — and not just for women, but for everyone who is sick and tired of the status quo.” So declared Glee‘s fabulous (albeit underutilized) Coach Beiste, discussing McKinley High’s first-annual “girls-ask-boys” shindig on this week’s episode.
More accurately, though, the hour seemed more about lovelorn teens wading deep into the waters of longshot love (and other emotions).
Tina pursued Blaine. Blaine dreamed of pursuing Sam. And Sam pursued the theory that the Warblers cheated at Sectionals by using performance-enhancing drugs. Kurt pursued a 22-year-old dude at NYADA. Puck pursued an under-age classmate of his younger brother. And Rachel pursued what’s sure to be a disastrous dive into a three-way…rent-sharing arrangement with Brody and Kurt.
It wasn’t the strongest episode of Season 4 — I’ll be needing Beiste to knock some heads together and restore sanity in 5, 4, 3, 2… — but in case you were raging at your local barista on the subject of sugar substitutes, here’s what you missed on Glee:
* Tina, in her role as student-council secretary, proposed a Sadie Hawkins dance — to give McKinley’s ladies (and members of the Too Young to Be Bitter Club, including Lauren Zizes) a chance to assume some power in their romances prior to prom. (Prom, she added, will feature the most awkward petting of their lives “till you wake up in a nursing home getting groped by an oderly.” Yikes!) In the midst of party planning, Tina got the idea in her head to ask her gay pal Blaine to be her date-date, and he responded with a “Thank you but no thank you” in front of the entire glee club. Turns out Blaine didn’t want to attend S.H. because he’d developed an unfortunate crush on his straight BFF Sam, who’s dating Brittany. “I’m not some predatory gay!” Blaine told Tina, but it’s not easy for him with Sam and his pouty trouty mouth borrowing his ChapStick. And it’s not easy for Tina watching Blaine’s derriere up there at the blackboard. (That shot did crack me up, I’ll admit.) In the end, Blaine and Tina attended the dance together, but Tina felt cheated when getting dipped didn’t result in a kiss. And Blaine wound up staring longingly at Sam across the dance floor. Let’s hope these bad-romance arcs turn out to be a one-week-only kind of party, two weeks tops, yes? I realize Tina and Blaine are on the rebound, but I’d rather see them bond as friend, maybe decide to take a three-month hiatus from dating and work on their inner selves, than watch them run down dead-end streets, so to speak.
* Sam, meanwhile, began studying photos of the Warblers members, and realized their faces and bodies were widening. Suspecting performance-enhancing drugs were to blame, he got Artie and Joe to capture footage of a roid-raging blazer-wearing competitor, before he and Blaine trotted out their most damning bit of evidence: Babyfaced Trent from the Warblers admitting Hunter and Sebastian were injecting the rival glee club’s members with steroids. Okay, yeah, this plot line is a daft, but all in the name of getting New Directions back in the choir room and on the competition circuit.
* Marley asked Jake to the dance, even though he’d been ignoring her since her Sectionals collapse. He said yes, but promptly had to deal with the Latest Temptation of Kitty, who promised to go a lot farther (off the dance floor) than virginal Marley. Puck stepped in to try to protect his little bro, and got Kitty to hiss: “I don’t like Jake. I’m a mean hot bitch who likes to get what she wants.” Say what now? Suddenly, Puck agreed to be Kitty’s arm candy, even though she’s not of legal age and he’s a high-school graduate who really ought to know better than to drop lines like, “If you wanna get all up in this, I expect to be fed.” (Then again, Puck has previously slept with his best friend’s girlfriend, and the adult adoptive mother of the child produced from said affair, so his judgment isn’t exactly infallible when it comes to women.) Marley, meanwhile, made Jake promise to be with only her and to take things slow — which seemed like a very clear signal that dude’s gonna stray, or come close to straying, in the near future. And who wants to bet that Ryder, who dreamily stared down Marley as he sang “I Only Have Eyes for You,” is gonna be waiting in the wings? (That Ryder is kinda dreamy, even if he’s become curiously silent.)