ABC's New Fall and Midseason Shows: Your First Look
We're still trying to figure out what ABC's execs were talking about at their upfront presentation when they claimed they were the "number one must-keep" network, but at least they had something resembling a sense of humor about their shows, talking about while their Bachelors may not stay engaged, they're viewers are. And then, as usual, they unleashed Jimmy Kimmel, whose show has been on the air for ten years, which is about nine longer than I predicted way back when. He joked to the ad buyers in the crowd that "We don't know what we are doing. We have no idea what people want to see. If we did, we wouldn't have an upfront; we'd just put the shows on the air and you'd just mail us a check." Then he added, "That show "Work It"... you know we were just kidding about that, right?" Of course, he had to rip on the other networks as well. On NBC: "Spinning chairs and a monkey. This truly is a golden age of television." On Fox's "X Factor": "No one knows talent like Britney Spears and Demi Lovato. Britney Spears wanted to be a judge since she's spent the last ten years appearing before them." On CBS: "For the 18-to-49-trips-to-the-bathroom demographic." On The CW's new musical chairs show: ""Oh Sit!" It used to be called "Steaming Pile o' Sit", but they shortened it." Still, his best joke was also at "The X Factor" and "Idol"'s expense: "I feel bad for Paula Abdul. She's the Rosa Parks of bipolar talent show judges. No one was more dedicated or more medicated." It's a good thing that Kimmel was funny, because none of ABC's new comedies looked amusing at all.
[Photos: ABC's 2012 Upfront VIP Party]
"The Neighbors" (Wednesdays at 9:30 PM)
Were you thinking it was about time that an alien comedy (like "Mork & Mindy", "Alf" or "3rd Rock from the Sun") made a return to primetime? So were the people at ABC. A horribly unlikeable Lenny Venito is married to Jami Gertz, playing humans who end up moving into a gated community with a bunch of aliens. Oh, and all of the aliens have named themselves after famous athletes and bleed green goo out of their ears when they cry. It's somehow supposed to be a perfect fit with "Modern Family", but unless the Dunphys are secretly aliens (and Alex might be), we see little in common here.
[Photos: ABC's New 2012-2013 Shows]
"Malibu Country" (Fridays at 8:30 PM)
Reba McEntire's discovered that her husband is a cheating jerk, so she ditches him and moves to California to live with her mother. Mom is a pot-smoking Lily Tomlin, who lives next door to Sara Rue. Also, former "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" star Jai Rodriquez is the music agent who helps Reba restart her singing career. Perhaps he could help Connie Britton over on "Nashville". I sense a crossover event waiting to happen.