The 5 Stages of Pretty Little Liars Grief: Mourning the Loss of My (Former) Favorite Show
Pretty Little Liars | Photo Credits: ABC Family
It loves me. It loves me not. Over the course of this season, Pretty Little Liars and I have developed quite the tumultuous relationship. While I used to call it #MyNumberOneFavoriteShowOhMyGod, now it's just... there. Do I still watch every week? Of course, but more out of habit than anything else. At times I wonder if I even want to keep on watching past this season.
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I know I'm not the only one who's currently plagued by Pretty Little Liars disappointment. If you, too, are struggling with the show that used to be your one and only, here's how I got through these tough times:
The 5 Stages of Pretty Little Liars Grief
When Season 3 started, I was like a regular Bambi —all wide-eyed innocence and naïve excitement for the show's return. Though my gut said Mona's unmAsking would shift PLL's dynamic, it could only change for the better, right? (Oh, how I wish I had a DeLorean so I could travel back in time to June and slap that optimism right out of me.)
That's not to say Season 3 didn't have a few bright spots in the beginning — "Bitch can see" will always have a place in my heart — but I was guilelessly unprepared for what was to come.
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Maybe I. Marlene King thought she needed to compensate for the big Mona reveal by giving us a billion other questions to stew over. Too bad these added story lines were stale or simply not as engaging as what I'd come to expect from the show that gave us incestuous step-siblings and an empathetic statutory rapist. Nate's psycho stalking? Ugh, move on. Ezra's secret son? Just tell him already, Aria! And really, how many times can they try and make us suspicious of Lucas? Over it!
I've always loved Pretty Little Liars for not shying away from complex narratives, but if you're going to add a billion new (boring) plots, make sure they at least go somewhere! Remember heart attack Holden's diner date with Emily? It sure seems like Emily doesn't (roofie-ing, aside). This schizophrenic storytelling makes me feel like a pint-sized Bruce Banner, ready to Hulk-out at the TV at any moment.
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Dear God, it's me Sadie. Thank you for proving PLL still knows how to shock me in all the right ways. Maybe revealing Toby plays for the A Team means things will turn around? What do people always say — It gets better? Well, maybe they're right. Then again, that whole thing with someone crawling out of Ali's grave was a little ridiculous. But maybe it's good ridiculous? You've earned the benefit of the doubt this time around, so I'll do my best to keep open eyes and an open heart.
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That's it. I quit. Way to take a show that was already bugging me and make it full-out infuriate me. Mona's back in high school now! Meredith tried to Misery Aria! Really?! I miss when A used to torture the girls by making them eat piggy cupcakes and sent fake college admission letters. Those were the good ol' days. Now even Spencer, who was the one liar I could always count on, has fallen by the wayside. Strip decathlon quiz? Seriously girl, I know you're heartbroken and all but that was a little much. And now that Toby's (apparently) dead, I'm honestly nervous to see what PLL does to my favorite fibber.
Sigh. Maybe I'll just take a page out of Spencer's book, become catatonically depressed and get locked up in a mental institution without TV so I don't have to suffer through this show any longer.
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Sorry for overreacting, guys. I don't deal with disappointment well and that's what I am: disappointed. Then again, 30 Rock's last few seasons weren't nearly as good, but I still stayed with it until the very end. Heck, I was even sad to see it go! What I need to do is accept that Pretty Little Liars might not be what it used to, but it's still a fun show overall. Otherwise, what am I going to do, quit? And never find out who Red Coat is? No friggin' way! I'm too invested now.
So here goes: acceptance. It's going to be hard, but I think I can do it. Especially if they do any more flashbacks of do rag Toby. That was awesome. (No seriously, though. I can't stress how awesome that was. It was chola Aria all over again! Please do more of that and maybe I'll stop complaining about this absurd cop killer story line.)
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Pretty Little Liars airs Tuesday at 8/7c on ABC Family.