'The Bachelorette' Recap: Someone's Got a Girlfriend!
It's that time in the "Bachelorette" season — the "shocking," "awful" reveal that one of the guys has a girlfriend.
Seriously, we could set our watches by how events unfold in this show. Of course this happens the week after Desiree and the men film that hilariously bad "Right Reasons" rap song. Oh, the delicious, producer-manipulated irony!
Pretty much every season of "The Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" has featured the discovery of a significant other back home. (It's even in this Buzzfeed drinking game.) But gotta hand it to the producers — they've really upped the ante this time. The confrontation between Brian and his girlfriend/not girlfriend Stephanie was entertaining as hell.
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Sure, this is a show about finding love, but let's face it — it's also about breaking hearts. Bring on the meltdowns (and more drinks!).
Having a ball
Ten guys are picked for the first of two group dates, which is a dodgeball competition! Bring. It. On. Love the tiny shorts the men have to wear!
They split into two teams of five, and unlike previous challenge-centered "Bachelorette" dates, both sides get to move on to evening cocktails.
The blue team — Ben, Drew, Zack K, Brad, and Brian — ends up winning, though there is a sad casualty on the red side when Brooks of the Long-Flowing Hair breaks his finger. Take good care of that mane, EMTs!
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At the party, various guys get alone time with Des. Brad reveals he has a 3-year-old son, but Chris manages to steal her away to the romantically-lit heliport, where he charms her with his kinda-shy flirting. Then Brooks makes his grand re-entrance (he seems a little woozy on painkillers), and Des rewards him with a bunch of kisses.
But the real reward, the rose, goes to Chris! Nice guys do finish first, sometimes. Des takes him down to a private concert by Kate Earl and the two dance and kiss to the music.
A phone call from Chris Harrison is never a good thing on "The Bachelorette." The host informs Desiree that one of the guys has a girlfriend — it's Brian!
She immediately drives over to the guy's house to confront him. Guess who also shows up? Yup, the girlfriend in question. Her name is Stephanie, and worst of all, she has a son! And man — she starts going after him like nobody's business.
Brian tries to argue that Stephanie isn't really his girlfriend and that they were broken up. "Don't sit here and lie on national television," she screams/sobs. "You're a coward."
Des awkwardly tries to comfort her. Chris Harrison angrily demands what Brian was thinking. When Brian finally admits that he slept with Stephanie two nights before filming began, Chris orders him out of the house. A burly producer escorts him inside to pack, then puts him into the White Van of Shame. Bye, bye, Brian.
Of course, the rest of the guys' eyes are bugging out. Poor Kasey, who has a 1:1 with Des that day! Especially cut up about the whole situation is Brandon, who grew up with a single mom and had to deal with losing father figures from his life. Awwww … Brandon needs a hug.