'The Bachelorette' Recap: Right Reasons, Right Reasons
Is there any bigger "Bachelor" or "Bachelorette" cliché than someone not being there for the "right reasons"?
Even the show makes fun of it with a hilariously awful rap video featuring Desiree, her suitors, and Soulja Boy (who should go into hiding immediately).
The phrase itself was uttered on last night's episode, oh, maybe 3,125,049 times. And that was outside of the ridiculous song. Just one time we'd like for a guy to say, "Yup, I'm here for all the wrong reasons. So what?" At least it would be a new and exciting development!
Otherwise, the episode pretty much goes as you'd expect: Desiree goes on dates, some guys start falling for her, others get jealous, and she sends a few home. So far, this "Bachelorette" is sticking to her script.
A Hollywood Romance
The first one-on-one date goes to Brooks of the awesome hair. We'd totally go on a date that just involved shampooing those lustrous locks.
Instead, Des gets a "fairytale date" — the two go to a bridal shop, where they try on gowns and tuxes. Then, dressed up like a bride and groom, they hit a cupcake truck (where Des is surrounded by adoring fans). And the afternoon is capped off with a sunset viewed from the venerable Hollywood sign. Des and Brooks share a kiss.
"This could be the first kiss of somebody I spend the rest of my life with," he says.
Later that evening, they dine on a purple-lit bridge that looks very similar to one where Kalon and Linzi had a date on last year's "Bachelor Pad" … hmmm. Whatever, it's romantic. Brooks, who seems like a guy without a care in the world, surprises us with an emotional confession about being estranged from his father. He gets pretty teary-eyed!
Des is touched and rewards him with a rose. Afterward, they dance and kiss to the sweet croonings of Andy Grammer.
"Can it get any better than this?" Des wonders. Brooks has definitely set the bar very, very high!
Bust a Rhyme
Now, time for the group date with guest Soulja Boy. Desiree tells the guys that they're making a rap video to a song called "Right Reasons," and instead of looking terrified, they actually seem excited. Oh, if they only knew. ABC released the final video last week, and it made us laugh, cry, and shake our darn heads.
After each man busts a rhyme, Soulja Boy chooses Brandon, Michael G., Ben, and James as featured performers. As they peruse the lyrics, they realize the song is about former "Bachelor" contestants! There's a verse for Jason Mesnick, one for Wes Hayden, another for Justin Rego, and a fourth for Kasey Kahl. Oh, the memories.
Watching the video get made is just as cringe-inducing as the final cut. Poor Brandon is basically wearing a thong and comes down with a little, uh, performance anxiety during his verse.