'Game of Thrones' Recap: Hot Tub Time Machine
The Episode "Kissed By Fire" in a Nutshell:
- Tywin Lannister plots his children's futures
- Robb Stark metes out justice to one of his bannermen
- Jon Snow and Ygritte get closer
- Jaime Lannister reveals his Kingslayer origin story
Body count: 3 important deaths; 1 half-death
Nudity count: 3
Dragon sightings: 0
New people and places: Selyse and Shireen Baratheon, wife and daughter of Stannis
"I was told you were drunk, impertinent, and thoroughly debauched. You would imagine my disappointment at finding nothing but a brow-beaten bookkeeper." -- Lady Olenna to Tyrion Tweet this
What's the deal with… Beric's comebacks from the dead? There must be some terrible side effect.
Just when you think you know what's happening on "Game of Thrones," you don't. After a few slow, chess-piece-moving episodes, last week's installment maneuvered everyone into intriguing positions -- Tyrion could manipulate the capital's money and regain power, Sansa would marry Loras, Margaery had the upper hand with Joffrey, and so on.
Well, none of that really happened (except for Tyrion kind of figuring out the money thing). As we've already seen, you can't assume anything about this show -- it'll even chop off the head of the main character!
Anything can happen.
Somewhere in the Riverlands: Arya and the Brotherhood Without Banners
The Hound's "trial by combat" begins, and at first, he and Beric seem evenly matched. Plus, Beric has the crowd on his side. Unfortunately, the Hound has amazing skill on his side and he guts Beric. Or so he thinks!
Red priest Thoros (did he go to school with Melisandre or what?) does some kind of voodoo spell thing, which causes Beric to come back from the dead. Apparently, this has happened, like, five or six times before. We've joked about a "Game of Thrones"/"Walking Dead" crossover, but we didn't think it'd actually happen!
[Related: Check Out 'GoT' Photos From Season 3]
Meanwhile, Arya discovers that her buddy Gendry is planning to join the Brotherhood for good. He's finally found people who could be his "family" (if you don't recall, Gendry is the bastard son of King Robert Baratheon and grew up as a smith's apprentice). Arya, wounded and hurt, replies she could be his family.
"You wouldn't be my family, you would be my lady," Gendry points out. And Arya doesn't want to be anybody's lady.
North of the Wall: Jon and Ygritte
Jon is consulting with Tormund and Orell about the defenses at the Wall. They're both very skeptical about what the Crow says, and Jon gets riled up about being questioned. So, Ygritte decides to loosen him up by taking him to the hot spring.
Jon loosens up alright, once he sees her naked. "I don't ever want to leave this place, Jon Snow," Ygritte says. We don't want you to, either!
Harrenhal: Jaime and Brienne
When Locke and crew bring Jaime back, Lord Bolton is not happy that his prisoner's hand was cut off. He orders Brienne released and has a maester look at Jaime's arm.
The two get naked to soak in a hot pool (this seems to be the theme of the night), where Jaime recounts the in-depth story of how he got the name "Kingslayer" -- the Mad King really deserved his name and wanted to torch every person in the city. It's a painful tale for him to tell, and he collapses in Brienne's arms. He asks her to call him Jaime, not Kingslayer. We'll be surprised if these two aren't making like Jon and Ygritte by next episode.
Riverrun: Robb and company
Robb is livid. His bannerman, Lord Karstarck, got his revenge for his dead son by offing the two (insignificant) Lannister boys they held hostage. Both Robb's mother and wife plead for leniency for Karstarck, since he is a major ally, but Robb is too much his father's son -- honor above all -- and chops off Karstarck's head.
But now that he's alienated Karstarck's troops, Robb needs more men for his plan to take Casterly Rock. And the only person he can ask is Lord Frey -- whose daughter he was supposed to marry (oops).
Dragonstone: Stannis and his family
While Melisandre's off doing who knows what, Stannis is paying attention to his actual wife, Selyse, and their daughter, Shireen. Selyse seems brainwashed, telling Stannis that it's totally fine that he's taken up with Melisandre. (And how creepy are those jars of their dead babies?)