'Dallas' recap: 'This could change everything'
"Dallas" -- "False Confessions"
Last week, Ann pulled the trigger on her revenge against kidnapping ex-hubby Harris Ryland, and that's where "False Confessions" opens. Harris's uber-creepy mama comes home to find her baby boy splayed out in the living room, bleeding profusely from a bullet wound to the chest. Ann is returning to Southfork at the same time, where Bobby finds her in the bathroom, washing her hands, with a gun on the sink beside her. Yep, I shot him, she tells Bobby, as the Dallas police are knocking at the front door.
Bobby to the police: "I shot Harris Ryland," taking the blame for Ann, because, as he tells her in a great example of the kind of rationale that only happens in primetime soaps, her daughter Emma will definitely never forgive her if she finds out Ann is really the one who shot her father. But she'll be totally fine with Ann's husband having shot him? Yeah, soap logic.
The Orange Jumpsuit Adventures
From Southfork to BeckyPam's penthouse, we find BeckyPam doing a Web search for info on the Tommy Sutter death investigation. Sidebar: Even J.R. is so caught up in modern times that we saw him using a tablet last week to Google himself and chuckle at his own shenanigans, yet, with her freedom on the line and her father supposedly one of the most powerful men in the world, BeckyPam turns to a simple Internet search to get info on a murder case?
With the Interwebs failing to provide the info she needs, BeckyPam goes off on family whipping boy Frank, who's newly arrived at her home. Just then, John Ross comes out of the bedroom, walks by Frank and orders two OJs and some strawberry pancakes. "Sorry Frank, you looked like the butler," John Ross says, on the heels of all those "poodle" remarks J.R. had been throwing at Frank.
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Frank's getting the business from everyone this morning, as BeckyPam then tells him he better find out what's happening with the investigation, because if she goes down for Tommy's murder -- whichwastotallyanactofselfdefensebecausehewasgoingtothurther! We know, we know, BeckyPam -- BeckyPam's papa, Cliff Barnes, will not be happy with Frank.
Know what Frank isn't happy about? Those poodle/butler remarks from father and son Ewing, and having to put up with BeckyPam when he feels he's the one who should be in charge of the Barnes empire. So Frank, making a mistake that many men have made throughout the years and lived, or not, to regret: he gets into bed with J.R.
Frank digs up Tommy's body and calls J.R. to tell him he's ready to make a deal and give up Tommy's body. Oh, and while Frank's getting into bed with J.R., he tells J.R. that John Ross is in bed with BeckyPam. Snap!
At the courthouse, Bobby's bail is set at $1 million -- chump change to the Ewings. And it's important to note that Patrick Duffy is still such a handsome figure that he rocks that orange jumpsuit Bobby's sporting for the few minutes it takes to get that bail cash.
Also at the courthouse is Mama Ryland, who tortures Ann about Bobby's potential prison future. It should be your son who's in jail for what he did to me, Ann tells her, before Mama Ryland whispers in her ear, "Then how unjust it must seem to you that Bobby will be the one rotting in prison."
John Ross arrives at Southfork just as J.R. gets a phone call about Bobby's legal troubles. When John Ross learns his uncle is in the hoosegow, he wants to know if this will help get Bobby out of Ewing Energies.