True Blood usually ends its seasons with a steep body count, pruning the narrative bonsai of extraneous characters for the next all-new adventure of Sookie Stackhouse & Co. But this year things went a little differently. Sure, there were some important deaths, a few hilarious births (yes, births plural), at least two rebirths and a bunch of tectonic shifts in allegiances that make me curious what the powers that be have in store for Season 6. Read on to find out how it all went down and see my wildly speculative predictions for Season 6.
The king is dead! Long live the king!
First up, Eric stakes Russell within, like, the first minute of the episode, without much fanfare. Personally, I thought it was a lame ending for a character that began so strongly, but he never quite recovered from his season-long absence. Too bad — Denis O'Hare is a fantastic actor and I would have loved to see him continue on the show.
Prediction: I think Russell is really dead-dead unfortunately. End of story. His boyfriend, the Rev. Steve Newlin, however, is at large at episode's end, so I think (and hope) we'll see him again. No season of True Blood is complete without a vengeance story line.
What's up with Jason?
Jason gets caught in the melee surrounding Russell's true death and receives a blow to the head that has him seeing visions of his deceased parents. Rather than gentle guides from the hereafter, though, Corbett and Michelle Stackhouse demonstrate none of the tolerance of their progeny. In particular, they really hate vampires. (Can you blame them?) These apparitions advise their dimwitted son not to trust vampires, so it's odd that he joins up with a bunch of them to bust things open at the Authority.
Prediction: Jason's militant streak will continue next season as he searches further for Warlow, to the detriment of his job and his relationships with vampires.
On the advice of his grizzly dad, Alcide decides to take V to kill J.D. so he can become the packmaster. He does so, but the implication here is that taking V, like any addictive substance, is a slippery slope.
Prediction: Alcide will embrace his new power while succumbing to the power of V, and next season Joe Manganiello might get to do some acting!
Sam, Luna and Emma are all being held at the Authority. Sam keeps shifting into a fly so he can zoom through the air ducts and figure out a way to escape. In an odd scene, a nervous Rev. Steve Newlin, who is suddenly not speaking with a Southern accent, retrieves Emma from her cell. Just as he's about to leave the Authority to "take her for a walk," Chancellor Rosalyn shows up and needs him pronto to make a TV appearance. It seems there's a video of Russell and Steve entering that frat house. Oops!
During a live interview on the subject, the Rev. appears to get sick, puking up blood on camera. It's then that "Steve" shifts into Luna (who's a "skinwalker," remember) and tells the newscaster that vampires are holding humans captive in an underground bunker and killing them. Just as Rosalyn is about to stop Luna from speaking (with her fangs), Sam, as a fly, enters Rosalyn's mouth and then shifts into human form. Splat! I sure hope Barb returns to Cougar Town on TBS. And of course, since it's the season finale, Luna collapses.
Prediction: I think that Luna is dead (mostly because this just happened), and that Sam is going to fight the pack for custody of Emma. And he won't be the only single dad is Season 6... (See below.)
Meanwhile, back at Merlotte's...
"It's always the weird stuff that's the best," Lafayette says. And boy, is he right! For a bit of comic relief in an otherwise heavy episode, high jinks ensued at Merlotte's. It all started when Lafayette made Cajun Margaritas (recipe, please!) for Arlene and Holly. A very pregnant Maurella, Andy's faerie booty call, shows up. After downing an entire container of salt (ew), her "light breaks" and she goes into labor. She gives birth to, and then abandons quadruplets, and tells Andy that according to their pact, it's his job to make sure that at least half of them make it to adulthood. Bonus points for a horny Jane Bodehouse appearance. She suddenly finds Andy very attractive!
Prediction: It will take a village, including Terry and Arlene (and maybe Jane?), to raise Andy's newborns, and while Holly will initially resist having anything to do with her cheating boyfriend, she'll come around and the cute couple will reunite.
Last week, we saw evidence that Lilith told three different people — Bill, Salome and Kibwe -- that they were the chosen one. So it's particularly fishy that Bill tells Salome that Lilith told him that she is the prophet for the new age. But Salome, perhaps blinded by her narcissism, accepts her role and drinks the blood. But this new Bill is apparently very, very evil, because he has switched out the blood for a silver-poisoned replacement. She gags and writhes before he stakes her.
With Salome out of the way, and despite the protests of Eric and Sookie, who arrive just in time to try to save him, Bill drinks Lilith's blood. He chokes on it violently and collapses into a very familiar-looking pool of blood. For a second, it appears that he's gone for good, but then, like Lilith before him, Bill rises, naked and blood-stained, from the pool, ready to wreak havoc. "Run!" Eric tells Sookie, and the screen fades to black.
Prediction: Bill will be Season 6's primary villain. This will put Jessica in a tricky spot, but she'll be "adopted" by Eric's extended family — which now includes Nora, Pam and Tara -- in the interim. Let's just hope Bill doesn't command her to do anything.
What did you think of "Save Yourself"? What are your wild predictions for Season 6? See you next summer!