Mindy McCready's tragic death on Sunday, Feb. 17, was mourned by country music fans and celebrities alike, many of whom are still trying to make sense of the sad news -- but Celebrity Rehab costar and pal Lisa D'Amato tells Us Weekly that she believes McCready didn't mean to end her life.
"The thing about Mindy was you'd think she's fine and cool and everything was great -- she had an incredible sense of humor and was the funniest person -- but then she would have a seizure or do crazy things like call me from another state to come and hang out," the former America's Next Top Model contestant told Us. "She'd make odd choices that didn't make sense."
"[But] this time I truly believe she didn't want to commit suicide," D'Amato continued. "She would drink and take pills when she got depressed and then attempt suicide or act irrationally. This time David's death made her turn to the pills and alcohol again, but I don't think she wanted to commit suicide. She just got so depressed."
According to D'Amato, being on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew helped her tremendously, but McCready's case wasn't quite so successful because she was in denial of her problems.
"Mindy went in there in denial that she had a problem," she said of her reality show costar. "She said she was not intoxicated and didn't have a problem with drugs and alcohol. She said she was addicted to abusive relationships. It didn't work for her because she wouldn't admit she had a problem and wanted help."
As a result, D'Amato tells Us, McCready would sometimes get "seizures from being beaten in the head so many times" and would then turn to pills and alcohol.
"Mindy always blamed the men in her life for ruining her life," she said. "But she came from an abusive childhood, so fell for abusive men. It was a bad cycle. The show is amazing and Dr. Drew is amazing. …But it is up to each person to want to get help."
McCready had been having a rough couple of months leading up to her death Sunday. Just one month prior, on Jan. 13, her boyfriend David Wilson died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, an event that deeply shook the country singer.
In an interview with NBC's Dateline in the weeks following his death, McCready admitted that she had considered Wilson to be her "soul mate."
"I've never gone through anything this painful," she said in the interview. "He didn't just touch my heart, he touched my soul."
The "Ten Thousand Angels" singer turned to alcohol and prescription pills to ease her pain, which landed her in court earlier this month when her family issued a request to remove her two young sons -- Zander, 6, and Zayne, 9 months -- from her Heber Springs, Ark. home.
"Since boyfriend (David Wilson) shot himself she has been in bed for 3 wks," her father said in court documents. "Sleeps all day. Drinks all night and is taking Rx drugs. Not bathing or even helping take care of her 2 children."
McCready was also committed to a treatment facility following an emergency hearing on Feb. 6.
Still, D'Amato, who starred with McCready on the third season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, didn't think "she'd die so soon. …She was amazing and had an amazing spirit."
"I'm numb from this," she continued. "All my friends from the show are dying. I'm so shaken up right now. I'm mad at her and the world and everything. She tried to be better and to get better."
This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Mindy McCready Death Leaves Celebrity Rehab Costar Lisa D'Amato "Shaken Up": "All My Friends from the Show Are Dying"