Marvel’s latest Netflix series, “Luke Cage,” has a whole lot of characters. And we felt obligated to rank them. Or 39 of them, at least.
39. Uncle Pete
Well, he was a sexual predator. So.
The fact that Luke’s origins as a superhero are connected to an abusive white prison guard is pretty delightfully ironic. We’re glad he’s dead.
37. Kitchen boss at Harlem’s Paradise
Sheesh, you cheapskate. If you’re going to have Luke tend bar, you could at least give him a jacket that fits.
He called Pop’s death and the destruction of his barbershop a casualty of war. Tone, if “Luke Cage” was a war, you just nuked Switzerland.
“No one was supposed to die!” he wailed. Dante, you forgot the rule of thumb when it comes to guns: never point your gun at anything unless you are prepared to blow it to bits.
Frightened, dumb kid who quickly got in way over his head with Cottonmouth. Unfortunately for him, Pop’s lessons didn’t sink in until it was too late.
His macho attitude quickly led to his demise, but at least he held onto it instead of wimping out once Cottonmouth got his hands on him.
Is real eager to commit crimes on Mariah’s behalf, but he’s such a dope that I don’t believe he’d actually do anything interesting or dangerous.
31. Lt. Perez
Wrote the textbook on how to be a crooked cop who is really transparent about it and basically beg to be caught.
30. Aisha’s drunk dad
Sits around drinking Colt 45s in the family memorabilia store after it gets trashed by Cottonmouth’s goons. It’s admirable, in a weird way.
29. Detective Scarfe
Has a dopey name, doesn’t know how to use chopsticks, and also he’s a dirty cop. But he’s not mean, I guess.
28. Inspector Priscilla Ridley
AKA Inspector By-The-Book. It’s hard to like police characters who really want to take down the good guy.
27. Connie’s husband, Jin
Why do those crooks want to kick this guy out? I’m sure he makes some mean sweet & sour pork. Take payment in food, dang.
26. Mama Mabel
A pretty large portion of the events of “Luke Cage” are because of really bad stuff she did decades before the present day of the series. We aren’t sure if that alone makes her a good or bad character, but her cutting off that one dude’s finger with her flower cutter puts her in positive territory.
Gotta respect a character who gets to give earth-shattering revelations even after she’s dead.
Walks into Harlem’s Paradise, eats half a candy bar and casually tosses the other half and the wrapper on the ground, all while looking Cottonmouth in the eye. If this was a ranking of cool people in “Luke Cage,” Domingo would be near the top. But he’s not, because being cool is pretty much the only thing he’s good at.
23. Captain Betty Audrey
Doesn’t make a huge impression here, but after all those years dealing with McNulty it’s not a surprise that she’d mellow out. Yes, that’s a “The Wire” joke.
22. Dr. Burstein
Perhaps the most huggable unethical scientist we’ve ever seen.
21. Trish Walker
Only her voice makes an appearance in “Luke Cage”, as we’re treated to an episode of her radio show “Trish Talk” where she talks about Luke Cage’s shenanigans.
10. Luke Cage
He may be an unstoppable wrecking ball, but he’s also a huge cornball. Instead of Power Man, his nickname should be Harlem’s Dad.