Michelle Williams admits that her life at 36 isn't what she imagined.
In an interview with the December issue of Porter magazine, the actress opens up about raising her daughter, Matilda, without Heath Ledger, who died in January 2008 when his daughter was just 2 years old. "In all honesty, for pretty much everything else, I feel like I'm a believer in not fighting circumstances, accepting where you are and where you've been. In pretty much all senses but one," Williams explains. "I would be able to go totally down that line of thinking were it not for Matilda not having her dad. You know, that's just something that doesn't… I mean, it just won't ever be right."
The Manchester By the Sea star adds that being a single mother is a constant challenge. "Talk about a learning process. I think, God, what would I say about it?" she says. "I feel really sensitive about it and certainly did not expect to still be dating at 36 with an 11-year-old."
Williams also recalls some tough love she received from her longtime friend and former Dawson's Creek co-star, Busy Phillips, in regard to her dating life. "My friend Busy and her husband Marc [Silverstein] said, 'Michelle, you're in like a blackout zone, everybody is now partnered up and you have to wait for people to start getting divorced.' Oh my f--king God. Are you kidding me?" she exclaims. "I'm just sitting around and waiting for marriages to crumble? Oh wow! No!"
As for what she might be looking for in a partner, Williams is quite the homebody. "I'm like a cat, I'm a very domestic creature. I just want to stay home and take care of people," she notes. "But I'm also happy with myself and just because I might have a desire to be with someone… that won't lead me to marry the wrong person."