Jimmy Kimmel’s Emmy monologue is a knock-out

Victoria Leigh Miller
Yahoo! Contributor Network

He says he looked to past Emmy hosts Conan O'Brien and Garry Shandling for inspiration, but in the end, it was pure Jimmy.

Sunday night's 64th Primetime Emmy Awards kicked off with first-time host Jimmy Kimmel sporting some bad Botox (or should we say faux-tox?), and crying, "I can't host the show!"

Pals like Kathy Bates, Christina Hendricks, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus were on hand to whip him into shape (literally!), and past host Ellen DeGeneres even lent him a pair of pants before a cleaned-up Kimmel took the stage for a short-but-sweet monologue that touched on all the obligatory hosting hot buttons.

He gave a quick diss to "So You Think You Can Dance" host Cat Deeley and a shout out to reality star Honey Boo Boo before reflecting on the fact that one out of every five acting nominees is British.

"I guess we're supposed to reward them because their actors went to the Royal Shakespeare Academy and ours were discovered at the mall," he said.

Kimmel also polled the audience on the upcoming presidential election, noting that the Emmy audience contained "40 Republicans and the rest are godless, liberal, homosexuals."

"See, that's why Kelsey Grammer didn't come tonight," Kimmel quipped.

It also bothered the "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" host that President Obama has said that Showtime's "Homeland" -- a show about a mentally unstable CIA agent -- is his favorite show.

"I don't think the president should be watching 'Homeland' any more than I think Charlie Sheen should watch 'Breaking Bad,'" Kimmel joked.

Kimmel also gave "Mad Men" star Jon Hamm an insider's scoop: "I am shocked that you didn't win tonight," Kimmel deadpanned before even one award was announced, as the Emmy-hungry star laughed.

Kimmel assured the audience that "all of you are winners, but in a much more literal sense, most of you will be losers."

That could be Jimmy himself. This year's Emmy host has a first-time nomination for his own late-night talk show, "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" Either way, his monologue was indeed a winner.