The holiday classic about a "prepubescent reindeer" and "Santa's elf slave" and their "group of freaks" is far weirder and more depressing than fans remember, according to Screen Junkies' Honest Trailer.
Its latest victim/honoree is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the holiday classic that is "so much weirder than I remember," according to the narrator.
Starring Dat Nose Knows Does Doe and Yukon the Red Beard Hipster, the movie's Honest Trailer is presented in musical form. "We thought we would sing his famous carol if it were honest about what actually happens in the film," explains the video, continuing to rewrite the classic song's lyrics.
"This prepubescent reindeer/ Had a neon whistling nose/ And when someone else sees it/ Their tiny little mind explodes," the song begins.
According to the video, after other reindeer "treat him like he's got the plague," he is exiled "'cause this Santa's full of rage." As for the side characters, the song introduces the Woodsman and Hermey the Elf, who wants to be a dentist, "clearly code for gay."
"Out in the frozen wasteland/ They all run into this fool/ Who helps them fight a Yeti/ While he oddly licks his tool."
After the "group of freaks" get to the Island of Misfit Toys, the narrator gets impatient: "This is nuts, none of this is from the Christmas carol. It's just insane filled. You all turned a simple story into Lord of the Rings for kids on acid."
"The moral of the story/ Is that being different's bad/ Unless your defect's useful/ Man, this movie's really sad."
Watch the video below.