If you have yet to watch Monday’s Gossip Girl season premiere, avert your eyes now. Everyone else, you may proceed…
“Call me superstitious, but I’ve got a feeling this fall could be my last season. Let’s face it, I’ve been at this a long time. But age breeds wisdom, and this I know: The best is yet to come.”
And so Gossip Girl began its farewell Season 6 on Monday night with a tongue-in-cheek voiceover from the anonymous blogger. But perhaps she/he should have declared, “The most scandalous reveal is yet to come.”
Before we get to the shocking and shudder-inducing final scene of the episode, let’s start at the beginning, which flashed back to Chuck and Blair’s heated hotel-room hook-up. However, four months later, they weren’t even together. She was in Paris, preparing to launch her mother’s line with her dreamy head of PR, and he was trying to uncover his father’s secret in Dubai with the help of Bart’s translator, Amira. Meanwhile, Nate was being interviewed by a college student from his “favorite journalism class at Columbia” – like Nate attended school! – as he was prepping to unmask Gossip Girl in a big exposé, and Georgina was in Italy helping Dan with a tell-all of his own about the Upper East Side.
“Technology means hackers. We’re going old school,” she explained, presenting him with a typewriter.
As for Serena, well, she was nowhere to be found. It’s not like this was the first time this had happened, but even GG hadn’t reported anything on her in months. The whole gang returned to New York in a quest to find her, not that all of them had the best of intentions. (Georgina was just looking for a juicy ending to Dan’s book.) The search led them to a beautiful home in the ‘burbs, where S wasn’t hopped up on drugs or in a cult, but hosting a party. Apparently, after getting revived on the train after her OD, Serena found a new life with boyfriend Steven (Barry Watson), as Sabrina from Wisconsin, who’d gone to school at Vassar. (What’s more unbelievable: That Serena’s from Wisconsin or that she went to Vassar?) Her white dress had Blair convinced she was getting hitched to her new beau, but “Sabrina” was actually the maid of honor at David and David’s wedding.
Blair apologized for all the horrible things she’d said, but the new (and improved?) Serena pretty much rebuffed her ex-friend.
“I don’t want to be stuck with you,” she replied. “I want a fresh start with Steven.” She got that when she admitted the truth and took the ridiculously understanding vitamin magnate back to her home on the UES. “No one can ruin this no matter how hard they’re going to try,” she declared boldly, kissing him.
The revelation that Chuck and Blair hadn’t even spent the summer together after she chose him didn’t sit well with a jilted Dan. He loved her unconditionally and wanted to be with her every day, but had lost her to the idea of being with Chuck… someday. “All you [two] have are excuses,” Dan told her. But Chuck and Blair were sticking by their pact to get their lives in order before getting together for good. For him, that meant first uncovering whatever his father was hiding in Dubai. Blair’s a distraction, he admitted to her, because she’s all he can think about when they’re together.
“It won’t be much longer, I promise,” he reassured her, kissing the engagement ring hanging around her neck. (During the episode, we saw Chuck getting closer to uncovering his dad’s secret, as evidenced by Bart giving Amira $10 million to keep quiet — but about what?)
Meanwhile, Lily’s search for Serena led her to Rufus’ loft, where, much to her displeasure, she discovered Ivy was staying. The fake Rhodes was working with Lola, who had landed a NBC series (for real!), to manipulate Rufus. And by golly, she did it — because by episode’s end, the two of them were in bed together, much to Dan’s (and everyone else’s) horror. To top it off, she also managed to throw the following zinger Lily’s way: “You should try to relax your face. You’re getting some very pronounced frown lines.”
Gossip Girl fans, what did you think of the show’s return? Vote below and then hit the comments to justify your grade!