'Game of Thrones' mini-recap: Guess who's pregnant!

Warning: This mini-recap for the “Eastwatch” episode of Game of Thrones contains spoilers.

Winter may be here, but it’s still springtime in the loins of House Lannister. (Gross, sorry.) That’s right, in the buildup to what is sure to be an apocalyptic world war, Cersei went and got herself pregnant! Because if she wasn’t already sufficiently motivated to rule the world, now she’ll have another possibly cross-eyed blond child to whom she’ll bequeath it. Congratulations, Cersei and Jaime! May your future niece-daughter or nephew-son be as troubled as you are.

“Eastwatch” was as happening as an episode of Game of Thrones gets. The central holy-s*** plot line involves Jon Snow’s newfound quest to travel north of the wall and capture a damn ice zombie! Yes, that sounds insane on its surface, and the plan will almost certainly not go well, but assuming he and his posse (including Ser Jorah! And the Hound! And Gendry!) can capture a wight, they’re one step closer to convincing the rest of the warring world to hit pause on this game of thrones and deal with the larger danger. (Not that Cersei isn’t already planning a post-zombie war coup. Because of course she is.)

Tyrion and Jaime meet. (Photo: Macall B. Polay/HBO)
Tyrion and Jaime meet. (Photo: Macall B. Polay/HBO)

In another momentous scene, Tyrion and Jaime were reunited for a clandestine strategy meeting, and one could say it proved an awkward experience for them both. Even though Jaime (and Cersei) now know that Tyrion was innocent of murdering Joffrey, the whole killing-their-father thing was hard for them to get over. Still, the Lannisters kinda-sorta getting on the same page again was an important turn of events.

Gendry returns. (Photo: Helen Sloan/HBO)
Gendry returns. (Photo: Helen Sloan/HBO)

For those of us who’ve spent the last several years pining for our dear Gendry, he finally returned this week! Not only was he 1,000 percent gung-ho about joining Ser Davos and Jon Snow north of the wall, he demonstrated his abilities with a war hammer on two unsuspecting Lannister guards. Talk about faceless men! In other words, our favorite bastard Baratheon dreamboat is back in the mix, and he’s bringing just the right amount of hunky lightheartedness this show needs.

“Eastwatch” was jam-packed with several more important moments, including: Daenerys’s execution of the leaders of House Tarly (including Dickon, sad-face emoji); Jon Snow bonding with Drogon; Samwell’s exit from the Citadel after none of the maesters would believe him about the White Walkers; and Littlefinger sowing seeds of doubt in Arya about Sansa’s leadership. In other words, Westeros is losing its collective damn mind, and this show has never been better.

Anyway, that’s just the tip of the gilded war hammer, so check back shortly for our full Game of Thrones photo recap!

Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO.

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